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Please don't complain if you are so attached to your problem that you are not really committed to solving it.

19

I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you!

10

To save time,

I'm right, you're wrong.

9

There is a very real difference between being a victim, and making victimhood your identity.

8

Does anyone want to do couples therapy with me just to find out how long it takes the therapist to realize that we don't even know each other???

10

Poetry is the language of love. Sarcasm the language of marriage.
Cynicism the language of work. Irony is the language of history.

10

DOCTOR, DOCTOR,
I FEEL LIKE A PAIR OF CURTAINS!

OOH, PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER

11

That moment when you realise you don't need therapy.
You are just
an asshole.

12

You can't make sense
out of nonsense

9

My wife said I was too big, so I went to a shrink.

7

WELCOME TO AA!

I'M JOHN AND I'M AN ALCOHOLIC...

SORRY TO HEAR THAT, JOHN, WE'RE AVACADO ADDICTS..

12

In reality, the therapists just repeat the same questions but in reverse. "Why do you think...etc. etc. etc.

Could be the client teaches the Dr.

9

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