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I wonder how many places I've already visited for the last time without realising it

11

"Na, kein hässlicheres Kostüm zu Karneval gefunden?"

"Führerschein und Fahrzeugpapiere, bitte!"

11

What can you do when the Ouija spells out "B-O-R-E-D"?...

10

I suffer from foot in mouth syndrome

8

Almost stepped on a snake today

9

We bought a (second) house!

7

Damn

You caught me off guard.

7

'vomits while singing
happy birthday'

6

He found out that I'm ticklish

6

Which is worse: people who talk without a filter or volume control on their cellphone in public or people who completely ignore you because they have their earbuds in and cannot hear a damn thing you are saying?

6

The "Grand Reopening" here in America has just ended one of the most remarkable periods of time in our history...

...as well as all those homemade haircut posts on Facebook.

6

ever had that moment when you were looking at the person you like...

...then they look back, straight at you?

5

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