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If you listen real closely, you can hear my alarm clock laughing as I set it.

83

Coffee so rich and black, Kim Kardashian would wrap her legs around it

59

50 shades of dark circles under my eyes.

39

Is it 2015 yet?

34

Where there's a will,
there is a snooze button.

33

Susy knew she'd been bitch slapped by karma, when she awoke to find her inbox full of spam.

27

Dreams aren't only made for nights!
How could you make them come true, if you're sleeping?!

17

As long as
God continues
to wake you up,
it means he still
has plans for you.

10

The six year old is
awake, and you are going to hear her roar.

22

I don't care that it's 1 PM!

Morning starts whenever I wake up and my first meal is still called breakfast

20

I hate when
I wake up on Saturday morning and it's Monday.

20

brain: HELL NO!

body: KILL ME PLEASE!

penis: THIS IS SPARTA!

15

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