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In a nutshell, I'd be
like "Whoa, it's really
cramped in here."

38

Hey new followers,
welcome aboard the
JodieT train. Apparently
all I have is posts about
fruit. Sorry about that.

32

I forgot who I was supposed to be

21

If I gotta be
damned you
know I wanna
be damned

dancing
through
the night
with you

16

All I have in my
fridge is chocolate,
sun protection,
and wine.

Sorry, kids.

17

Motherfucker

14

Sorry I threw a loaf of bread in your face when you took your duckface selfie in the park.

13

Baby did a bad, bad thing... baby spent way too much money on lingerie this weekend.

12

die zeit
heilt keine wunden.
die zeit
heilt einen scheiss.

11

yeah, not sharing those brownies, though

they can fend for themselves

8

You had your chance.

4

You're asking me to not drink until WHAT TIME?

6

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