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good sex is like good bridge:
if you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand

16

The girl did a split

but I never said show me

so I shrugged and told her let it go

9

Saying "nevermind" because you're to lazy to repeat yourself.

12

MY BUCKET HAS A HOLE

11

Sometimes when I'm at a party or out in crowd I feel more alone then when I'm actually home by myself...

11

Did you hear the joke about the toilet?

Nevermind it's too dirty...

9

Almost stepped on a snake today

9

I was dancing last weekend.
I need new shoes.
And a new Identity.

8

I didn't bold that!

Acetaminophen, lidocaine hydrochloride, caffeine and two shots of NyQuil did.

9

KING

8

Oh well, whatever, nevermind.

8

I think I have the urge to
get up and clean the house.

Wait.......No

False alarm

8

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