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This 8yr old boy was screaming at the supermarket cause his mum wouldn't buy him a chocolate bar. So I bought a snickers and ate it in front of him.

59

I hope the Halloween kids will stop ringing at my door soon, I'm almost out of Sardines.

37

The word Fat just looks like someone took a bite out of the word Eat.

29

If your wedding speech doesn't involve werevolves, I'm not interested.

33

Spraying your body with perfume, rather than having a wash, will just make you smell like a scented poo.

27

EAT
SLEEP
RAVE
REPEAT

11

He loves me
with a love that is
more than love.
And he gives good
sidey cuddle.

22

kiss more

12

The night doesn't seem to have a point anymore.

23

this moment when the noise of breaking bones wakes you up

13

Children can be so cute, I could just eat them up!

Literally.

I hate them.

24

i dont have an eating problem.

i eat, i get fat, i buy new clothes. - no problem.

15

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