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Being sensual has nothing to do with showing your Cleavage on a Picture and looking to the Camera like "Fuck me hard", Honey. That's cheap, not sensual.

14

"I love you mum. Can I play on the iPad?"

15

The nine year old just asked me why TV screens from the 'olden days' are curved.

We're only watching Friends!

Kill me now.

10

I have a really bad memory. If I've already told you a story, tell me so! Otherwise I'll just ramble on and look like an ass.

9

'Doing anything fun this weekend?'

I'll be working. Like every weekend.
But thanks.

7

'Checks email for replies to job applications'

'Bangs head off desk'

7

'Awkwardly locks eyes with attractive human being'

'Breathes heavily'

7

What do I do for fun?

Um.. Well, I have a couple of cats? So at the weekend I like to.. stay home and .. look after my cats?

6

If it tastes good, it's bad for you.

4

Congrats on winning a £12 customer handling fee!

3

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