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TheTweetOfGod

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TheTweetOfGod

Yes, all this is really happening.
No, you’re not crazy.
Doomed, but not crazy.

10

Sometimes in life all you need is fifty million dollars.

3

Somewhere in China there's a bat getting high-fives from every other animal he sees.

1

Age is just a number. A number that increases by one every year until you die.

2

I was on Ambien when I created mankind.

3

Elephants are like people, only humane.

3

Remember basic human decency? Good times.

4

I have the virus contained now so it’s pretty much only affecting human beings.

4

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