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Posts Liked by xCelestine

The truth hurts only once

A lie hurts everytime you remember it.

150

2 von 3 Stimmen in meinen Kopf wollen endlich einschlafen. Die andere will wissen, ob Pinguine ein Knie haben.

42

Ich bin übrigens nicht perfekt und arbeite auch nicht daran.

32

Pinguine sind Vögel, die nur fliegen, wenn man sie wirft.

33

Telling a girl to "calm down" is like trying to baptize a cat.

148

I like to be alone.
But I would rather be alone with you.

270

Try to be less of a fucking piece of shit than you were yesterday.

- Buddha

295

Love is unconditional. Love is, "I know you're a fucking psycho maniac, but I'm willing to deal with that."

117

"A student in bed will remain in bed until acted upon by a large enough panic" - Newton's lesser known fourth law

74

Was du von mir halten sollst?

Am besten Abstand,
oder mein Drink!

33

Ich habe weder die Zeit noch die Buntstifte, Dir das jetzt zu erklären.

44

Sometimes
sharing a
shower is all we can do to
help the environment

102

Love is saying
"I know you're a fucking psycho manic but I'm willing to work
with that."

143

Liebevolle Worte können kurz und einfach sein, aber ihre Echos sind unendlich.

26

Schläft der Koala weniger als 18 Stunden am Tag, stirbt er an Erschöpfung.

26

Ich steh mit beiden Beinen fest auf dem Schlauch.

29

whenever you feel getting pulled into other people's nonsense, repeat these words :

Not my circus.
Not my monkeys.

147

Eins muss ich ja meiner Müdigkeit lassen:
Kondition hat sie.

38

The more your mind is confused, the more you should listen to your heart.

173

Läuft bei dir, zwar rückwärts und bergab aber läuft

41

DONT GET MAD WHEN I PULL A YOU ON YOU.

4

Spoil me with loyalty.

I can finance myself.

26

Our break up was due to religious differences.

He thought he was God.

I didn't.

64

Aufstehen ist der erste Schritt in die falsche Richtung.

32

I wanted to tell my Jewish friend a funny yet offensive joke, but he already nose them all.

14

Do you know what would be funny?

Go and see 50 shades. of grey in the cinema,
And Flick
MAYONAISSE
on the Couples

Sitting in the front seats !!!

18

Falling in love is easy.
Staying in love requires dedication, understanding, forgiveness, great sex-often, showing support even if you may not agree, silly flirting, random compliments, exposing your weaknesses and trusting those weaknesses will never be used against you. True Love Takes Work.

66

hurt is transitory,
you are not.

8

we'll, we'll, we'll if this isn't autocorrect

26

Panting and perspiring, two men on a tandem bicycle at last got to the top of a steep hill.
“That was a stiff climb,” said the first man. “It certainly was,” replied the second man.
“And if I hadnt kept the brake on, we would have slid down backward.”

15

some of us are so scared of the unknown that we create our own cages

181

Bedtime is wonderful because I get to do two things I love: nap and worry.

83

ich wünschte ich hätte hausverbot in meinem kopfkino

51

Unter der Dusche fast beim Gähnen ertrunken!

Leben am Limit!

54

trash talked by many, hated by some. guess how many fuck's i give, it's less than one.

13

Throwing lamps at people who need to lighten the fuck up.

59

my back is not a voicemail say it to my face

232

Of course your opinion matters,

Just not to me.

162

twinkle twinkle little whore, close your legs, they're not a door

146

there's a little truth behind every
"just kidding"
a little curiosity behind every
"just wondering"
a little knowledge behind every
"i don't know"
and a little emotion behind every
"i don't care"

129

Find someone who knows you're not perfect but treats you
as if you are.

182

One of the most cruel acts that a human can do to another human, is to cause a person to lose hope.

66

"Smells fresh. Like a tropical island."

"Ok. Blindfold off! Your family's been dead in the car for a week! We Febreezed it."

17

Saw my midget neighbor at the bus stop, told her to hop in I'll give her a lift.

The ungrateful ass said "fuck off". So I zipped my backpack and continued walking.

17

It's much better to know
and be disappointed,
than to never know
and always wonder.

41

I can't people today.

80

Das sind keine Augenringe, dass sind blaue Flecken von einer Schlägerei mit dem verdammten Sandmännchen.

36

I hope karma slaps you in the face before I do.

10

You cant spell studying without dying

1

I take super hot showers because I like practicing for burning in hell.

1

It is not you. It's me.

Oh, who am I kidding?
It is DEFINITELY you.

1

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but frankly I can't get my head that far up my ass

2

Are you a bank? Because you should leave me a loan.

3

What do you call it when batman skips church?

Christian bale

6

I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile

then walk into a pole

10

im not actually funny. im really mean but people just think im joking.

18

When you're in that mood where "fuck everyone" has both meanings at the same time

24

TREAT ME LIKE A JOKE, AND I'LL LEAVE YOU LIKE IT'S FUNNY.....

82

KLAUEN DEINE ELTERN?

SIEHST SO MITGENOMEN
AUS

40

Half of my feelings are doubts about the other half of my feelings.

53

A church is a hospital for sinners, not a club for saints.

91

It's better to be late, than to arrive ugly.

190

bock auf candle light döner?

46

You make me smile...

And also super horny, but that's not the point.

203

Negative people need drama like oxygen. Stay positive and you'll take their breath away.

163

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

459

The world is full of nice people. If you can't find one...

be one.

324

Worrying is stupid!
Its like walking around with an umbrella and waiting for it to rain.

15

"Dein Hirn wurde wohl auch mit Teflon beschichtet, damit ja nix hängen bleibt
..."

24

"Everything seems to be
exhausting me, no matter
how much sleep or how
much coffee I drink or how
long I lie down, something
inside me seems to have
given up. My soul is tired"

20

"We revisit
old feelings for
the same reason
we re-read books -
comfort in words familiar
even though we
know the endings."

22

we had been trying to be adults for so long, and it wasn't until we were 18 and laying on the bathroom floor drunk that we realized that age is just a number and reality is learning that there is no such thing as being an adult, you only grow older, and if you're lucky,
a little wiser

219

I never needed you. I wanted you.

There's a difference.

333

ugh

please get off my head I'm trying to have some time for myself

125

lazy is a very strong word.
i like to call it selective participation.

279

Only trust people who like big butts.

They cannot lie.

221

Karma means i can rest easy at night knowing all the people i treated badly today had it pretty much coming.

176

Listening to a bird is like listening to a woman.

Nice voice but impossible to understand.

183

actually, we are created to love each other.

simple.
and so hard to do too.

131

Half of my feelings are doubts about the other half of my feelings.

232

The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success

213

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