Posts Liked by tashajuju

When i die i want my tombstone to offer free WiFi so people will visit me more often.

$_ // ,O. // , ( : : : ) =// ( `~(###) '%--- ' `"y \ / \ / __) (__ ' ------ `$

$. _ . | / | W | / | ._ . [ ] | / | | : | . _ . | | ._ . | / | | : | | " | | \ | : | | / | | : |_| " | \ \ \ | / | : | _ | / | | : |\| " | | - ( ) - | : | " | / |_| : |\| " | | V L | : | " | / |/| : |\| " | \ `\ ___ ~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~ | \/ / ~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~$

I don't have a Facebook or Twitter account, so I just go around announcing out loud what I'm doing at random times. I've got three followers so far but I think at least two are cops.

Sex jokes are not funny. I mean cum on people.

I'm going to start cleaning the house. And by cleaning, I mean drinking wine while spraying everything with Febreze.

"instagram is down.

just describe your dinner to me."

recently, i called my mother at 3 am. just to let her know how it is, when she calls me on sunday 1 pm.