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Posts Liked by riajohnson

oh darling, go buy a personality

23

I can think of absolutely no acceptable situation where a grown man should be taking a bathroom mirror selfie.

74

Stop asking WHY I'm still single.

I don't ask how you're still married.

219

Telling a girl to "calm down" is like trying to baptize a cat.

566

Potatoes give us french fries and vodka.

It's your move, celery.

231

the trick is not to let people know how really weird you are until it's too late for them to back out

14

Alright Monday what kind of bullshit you got for me this time.

9

ladies, if you think your man is cheating take him to that bitch's frontdoor and see if his wifi connects automatically

108

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