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Posts Liked by redben

I call my wallet a nonprofit organization.

107

Your future self is watching you right now through memories.

111

I used to think you were my happily ever after, but now I've realized that you were only my once upon a time.

97

Was so depressed last night, called LifeLine 0800 543 354. Got connected to a call center in Afganistan. Told them I was suicidal. They got all excited & asked me if I could drive a truck.

44

Can february march?

No. But april may

310

I don't do drugs or drink.

At my age, I get the same effect just standing up too fast.

244

That's a horrible idea.

What time?

28

My job is like the movie "Sixth Sense", except:

I SEE DUMB PEOPLE !

31

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