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Posts Liked by Payitfwrd

fart when people hug you.
it makes them feel strong.

8

it's like restless leg syndrome but it's my whole life.

7

if a woman doesn't remember where she put her keys, it doesn't mean that she forgot what you said to her three months ago on a friday, at 7:15.

12

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk.

Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

9

Parenting is easy once you learn the secret.

For the love of god, please tell me the secret.

11

Been feeling a little moody and run down lately, so I googled my symptoms to see what I might have. It's kids. I have kids.

9

I KNOW
EVERYTHING HAPPENS
FOR A REASON

BUT WHAT THE FUCK

32

Falling flat on your face counts as a step forward

33

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