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Posts Liked by Naelshureih

I 'm gonna hang a Batman outfit in my closet just to screw with myself when I get Alzheimer's.

197

Life is a bowl of toenails

5

Haters will see you walk on water and say its because you can't swim.

212

Hey Santa, you know who else liked to judge people?
That dude Hitler.

54

Me: for Christmas I
want a unicorn.

Santa: be realistic!

Me: ok I want a
boyfriend.

Santa: what colour do
you want your
unicorn?

153

This year I'm secretly stuffing the turkey with marijuana so everyone can relax and enjoy my cooking for once.

63

lets have a moment of silence for all those who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride stationary bicycles.

125

All the coffee in Colombia won't make me a morning person.

35

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