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Posts Liked by melzy

Ironically, the fight between the mind and the heart always ends up hurting the liver.

417

Faster than the speed of light is when you can take a bottle of beer out of the fridge before the light comes on.

263

Let's go camping.

In a hotel.
With a pool. And a spa.

427

I'm not perfect, but I'm always myself.

278

If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between shit and syphillis!

407

I love waving at random people, because you know for the rest of the day they're trying to figure out who the hell you were.

789

Telling a girl to "calm down" is like trying to baptize a cat.

566

Today, 2 year olds can unlock an iPhone, open and close their favorite apps all by themselves.

When I was that age,
I was eating dirt.

617

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