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Posts Liked by martesofiee

I tried to send you something sexy, but the mailman told me to get out of the mailbox.

24

My bed and i have a special relationship; we're perfect for each other. But my alarm clock just hates seeing us together.

20

Each person takes everyone's
sarcasm to a
different level.

26

[P]erson

[I]n

[M]anagement

[P]osition

41

You strike me as one of those people who hands out fruit on Halloween.

43

I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look...that one is shaped like an idiot."

92

If women ruled this world, there would be no wars.

Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.

202

Me: for Christmas I
want a unicorn.

Santa: be realistic!

Me: ok I want a
boyfriend.

Santa: what colour do
you want your
unicorn?

123

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