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Posts Liked by diazepamberlin

at least we're not cruising on a river trying to spot Bigfoot or sell Meth

34

I'm a strong,
independent woman.

Until something heavy
needs to be lifted.

41

Table for one

Martinis for two

28

My 4 moods:

I am too old for this shit.

I am too sober for this shit.

I am too tired for this shit.

I don't have time for this shit.

48

Apple CEO announces he's gay. Samsung CEO announces he's more gay and water resistant.

244

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22

me: "siri tell me a joke"

siri: *opens camera app*

40

I can feel you forgetting me

34

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