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Posts Liked by covrtney

Dear Ex,

Please don't be fooled by Adele, you'll never find someone like me.

377

Sometimes I feel useless but then
I remember
I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

395

If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between shit and syphillis!

407

I just took a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.

360

Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.

452

Telling a girl to "calm down" is like trying to baptize a cat.

566

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

734

My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"

812

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