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Posts Liked by brendy

I wish cake went straight to my boobs.

215

She's the type of soul that makes you look forward to Mondays, knowing, she'll be in them, too.

34

on a scale of 1 to 10: you are a 9
and i'm the 1 you need

50

Women spend more time thinking about what men think than men actually spend thinking.

49

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

734

I always leave homework to the last minute because I will be older and therefore wiser

13

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is God is crying.

And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is Probably because of something you did.

26

This isn't a beer belly, it's a fuel tank for my love machine!

37

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