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Posts Liked by beccasbubble

My girlfriend told me to take a spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer.

224

soon as you realize love is in the air, somebody farts.

203

Don't be sad laundry,
no one is doing me either

222

My love is like a candle.

If you forget me, I'll burn your house down.

353

Ironically, the fight between the mind and the heart always ends up hurting the liver.

417

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

734

On top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese.
I lost my poor meatball, when somebody sneezed.
It rolled off the table, and onto the floor.
And then my poor meatball, rolled out the door...

178

A lot of people cry when they cut onions, the trick is not to form an emotional bond.

396

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