Search for #hashtags, @writers or keywords

Posts Liked by alyce

i feel like i'm going to be that uncle who drinks vodka straight out of the bottle and ruins christmas.

12

97% of my problems can be solved with dick, food, or attention.

10

cop: i pulled you over because you were texting and driving.

me: sexting.

cop: excuse me?

me: *shows him my phone.*

cop: oh wow, and what did he say next?

12

sorry but i don't answer private numbers. or numbers that i don't know. or anyone ever. also, don't call me.

18

when i tell someone where i live and they reply "you live so far!" i'm not inviting you over so don't worry about your imaginary journey.

9

Oh what a lovely day. Everything's still stupid and we're
all dying.

53

when i said "how stupid can you be?" it wasn't a challenge.

15

don't be ashamed of who you are, that's our parents job.

14

show more

About Help Brands Affiliate Developer Press Contact Copyright Privacy Terms