seasha7875's Posts

what do a man do when he shit elavator? Take shit to another level!

Reposted from seasha7875

seasha7875 likes this

what do a man do when he shit elavator? Take shit to another level!

reposted by seasha7875

My children are dyslexic; they think 'Dad' is spelt ATM.

Reposted from Parthurbold

A fuck must be earned. I can't go down the street with a bucket of fucks, giving them out to everyone.
If I feel that you've earned it, I will give a fuck.

Reposted from 2schaa

2schaa likes this

I love waving at random people, because you know for the rest of the day they're trying to figure out who the hell you were.

Reposted from brenlouwin

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

Reposted from 27thAvenue

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

Reposted from 27thAvenue

I tripped and fell in love.

Don't worry, I brushed that shit off.

Reposted from anonymous

I tripped and fell in love.

Don't worry, I brushed that shit off.

Reposted from anonymous

People
who
talk
shit
are
reincarnated
as
toilet
paper.

Reposted from 2schaa

2schaa likes this

People
who
talk
shit
are
reincarnated
as
toilet
paper.

Reposted from 2schaa

2schaa likes this

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty.
She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

Reposted from Linneaelvira

Here's a tissue, you have a little bullshit on your lip.

Reposted from 2schaa

2schaa likes this

Someone told me I'm immature.

Guess whose not allowed in my tree house?

Reposted from 2schaa

if you've been left, go write

Reposted from josefibbla

if you've been left, go write

Reposted from josefibbla

She said "tell me something super dirty", I said "Your kitchen bitch!"

Reposted from MunzZ

She said "tell me something super dirty", I said "Your kitchen bitch!"

Reposted from MunzZ

She said "tell me something super dirty", I said "Your kitchen bitch!"

Reposted from MunzZ

Pollen is plant sperm. Thus, making hay fever an STD.
Since nobody voluntarily takes in pollen,

I concluded that we're all raped by trees.

Reposted from skipp

they say you like shit sandwiches but the thing about it you hate the bread!

seasha7875 likes this

Did you know that if you put your ear up a strangers leg you can hear them say:
What the fuck are you doing?!?

Reposted from MooseOnDaLoose

Sun goes down earlier for short people.

Reposted from hebdifescht

What if when we die the light at the end of the tunnel we see is just us being pushed out of another vagina?

Reposted from wiltun

What if when we die the light at the end of the tunnel we see is just us being pushed out of another vagina?

Reposted from wiltun

i just burnt my tongue on some food

they say the ones you love hurt you the most

Reposted from _chxrlie

lovers

that word really bums me out

..unless its between cheese and pizza

Reposted from brenzy

Haters will see you walk on water and say its because you can't swim.

Reposted from MissB

Haters will see you walk on water and say its because you can't swim.

Reposted from MissB

go directly to hell.

do not pass GO.
do not collect $200.

Reposted from anthonymangham

anthonymangham likes this

Your pants say yoga, but your ass says McDonalds!

Reposted from anonymous

Your pants say yoga, but your ass says McDonalds!

Reposted from anonymous

No matter what kind of instant noodles you buy, they all taste like poverty and loneliness.

Reposted from GaylrdSprFckr

GaylrdSprFckr likes this

The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.

Reposted from anonymous

The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.

Reposted from anonymous

My internet was down for 5 minutes so I went downstairs and spoke to my family.

They seem like nice people.

Reposted from anonymous

What if when we die the light at the end of the tunnel we see is just us being pushed out of another vagina?

Reposted from wiltun

I'm in competition
with no one..
have no desire
to play the game of being better than anyone..
just simply trying to be better than the person I was yesterday •

Reposted from Lirpae..

Lirpae.. likes this

life is what happens when you put your phone down.

Reposted from anonymous

If Adam and Eve were Chinese,
we would still be in paradise because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake.

Reposted from anonymous

wiltun and 2schaa like this

if you walk a mile in my shoes you'll end up at the bar.

Reposted from sunrheaa13

Negative people need drama like oxygen. Stay positive and you'll take their breath away.

Reposted from HUMENtravisty