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My first job was Babysitting. It prepared me for every job I had.

When bosses were cranky, I gave them food or something to drink. When they were sad, I patted them on the back & said everything was going to be better.

39

When you are willingly walking into an emotional hurricane, be sure to equip yourself appropriately lest you get blown around with the rest of the fodder.

10

Life is a bitch.
So better have a condom in the pocket,
in case it's going to fuck you.

10

Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.

10

I can.
I will.
End of story.

9

if i die, i will die well-dressed.

11

On many other occasions
in My life people expressed amazement at the depth of My perspective and ability to rationalize situations and the people involved. This is no different.

11

I always carry a knife in my purse. You know, in case of cheesecake or something.

10

Didn't Nostradamus see that coming?

10

I never wear shoes
that I cannot run in.

9

Getting old ain't for sissies

9

I can't do this.

Seriously.

I think it's time to just wave around and die gracefully.

8

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