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Someone just likened
me to a "pocket Yoda."

Please, tell me I'm
taller than that?

23

The pounds I lost last months....
got them back! No need to search anymore

16

I don't need GOOGLE...

I have teenagers @home that know it all

13

Me: You're such a sweet guy. There has to be a catch.

Him: No catch! God just brought us together for a reason.

Me: Aaand there it is.

9

Was du von mir halten sollst?
Meinen Drink.

8

God, shmod.

8

I'm not even wanted for voluntary work.
I literally cannot work for free.

What's going on?!

7

Sometimes its all abpit the joeys of this world!

1

Pffff
Stubborn, hardheaded bitches aint shit!!
So f*cking BOSSY!!

0

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