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I've got 7% of a plan and it's gonna be awesome! Who's with me?

19

you lie
somewhere
between an
omen and
bad coffee.

12

I literally have no idea what people my age are talking about.

All the slang, the words that change meaning?

I feel like I need an ear trumpet and walking stick.

12

Scientists in Siberia working on bringing back the Wooly Mammoth.

Didn't Universal Pictures translate ANY of the Jurassic Park movies into Russian?

10

Yes, ich chas no!!!!!

5

He pressed the shotglass to his lips, jerked his neck backward and downed the tequila in one swift motion.

Peering over the edge of the shotglass he mumbled,"You're a bad influence...I like you!"

3

After seeing "Hamilton" on Broadway, I tried to resurrect the powdered wig look...

Yeah...that didn't last long.

4

we always seldom avoid the forbidden.

3

When you make love, remember this is how the biggest criminals have been designed

3

Anstand

3

There are no bad ideas, just great ideas that go horribly wrong

1

Ist heute in der St. Jakobs Badi eine Runde am Rutschbahn fahren.

0

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