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Shoutout to ATM fees for making me buy my own money.

53

What I feel I can't say, but my love is there for you any time of day...

9

When i'm good
i'm pretty great
but,
when i'm bad
i'm still actually
pretty good

9

-Radio "Hey, did you know?"

-Me "What?"

-Radio "15 minutes could save you 15% or more..."

-Me "...On a bucket of STFU"

8

I have an uneasy stomach,

Emotionaly

7

Now we're just strangers with memories.

6

Think of something you personally find sexually strange/bizarre/hilarious

Someone in the world doing that right now.

5

Fun Fact #???

Me and Bill Gates have a combined worth of about 79.3 billions dollars.

5

I'm trying to live life like my funeral is in 5 days.

5

After the date, John walks Mary to her door.
Which event(s) are to follow?

(a) They awkwardly hug.
and disperse
(b) John gets invited
inside.
(c) Make out session.
(d) Indecent sex on the
porch.

4

Oh How The Mighty Have *Farted

4

#Boldomatic #has #hashtags #now?!

#BigMistake

2

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