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After I drink coffee I like to show the empty mug to the IT guy to tell him that I've successfully installed Java. He hates me.

77

When asked
"what's wrong"

I always answer
"nothing"

because it is
so much easier
than to say
"everything"

30

Even in my local grocery store there are 'Emergency Flowers' for the man who forgot that it's Valentines Day

14

I've been going to my local watering hole for so long now, even though I have no friends there
the people still know my name. Sometimes that's good enough for me.

13

Be careful what you pray for

12

I'm going to sit and watch quiz shows and every time I get a question wrong I'm going to punish myself by eating a piece of chocolate.

10

love you,
it's not all
I wanna do, but it's definitely on my list.

7

If you knew Susy, like I knew Susy. Oh, oh, oh!

5

Nap all day
Sleep all night
I know what
you're doing

If you're gonna
act that way
I think there's
trouble brewing

4

They've got excitement, and life by the fistful

But we've got the needle
I guess that's the point of it all

1

it always comes back down to you, and then I hear that it's up to me, well, then, let's, after you, or, we can walk together, take a cab ...

1

if I come up with a business that is like show business I'll die happy ...

1

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