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The doctor told me to stop masturbating and when I asked why he said, "Because you're in a doctor's office. That's disgusting."

27

-Dejà poo

The overwhelming feeling that you've heard that shit before.

12

I want to do with your body what Congress is doing to government employees.

7

You must get tired of putting makeup on two faces every morning.

5

The akward moment when you realize you know more Middle earth history then real Earth history.

5

My new year's resolution is to be more positive and less sarcastic.
How long do you think this fantasy will last?

4

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