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ianboughey

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ianboughey

My favourite thing about this sentence is that by the time you realise it's not going anywhere, you've already read it.

7

a fairy godmother asked me if I preferred a longer memory or a longer penis; I don't remember my answer!

10

it takes balls to be a transvestite

4

I find the best way to get rid of telesales people is to ask them - "What are you wearing?"

2

So I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet; he sent me a large goat with a long neck - turns out I phoned dial-a-lama.

7

someone needs to design a bathroom scale with a "reset" button so that you can be the weight you were BEFORE you ate the cheesecake!

3

I don't like "Twilight", but I don't mean to denigrate those who do.

For the people who like "Twilight", denigrate means 'put down'.

5

i have sexdaily. i mean, dyslexia!

5

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