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das_dicke

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das_dicke

I'm not ignoring your calls. I just enjoy my ringtone.

5

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.

4

Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.

4

i'm sorry
for what
i said when i was hungry.

3

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

3

I Was Born To Be Awesome, Not Perfect.

3

The synonym for reality is offline.

2

The trouble with jogging is, by the time you realize you're not fit for it, it's too far to walk back •

2

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