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Posts Liked by zau_ber_frau

Brains are the new tits.

122

Today there is no same sex marriage, gay marriage or heterosexual marriage in America, just marriage.

116

Can you imagine parents nowadays explaining to their kids how they met?

"Well, it all started one day when your dad 'liked' one of my selfies."

218

does running away from my problems count as jogging?

278

there is always a wild side to an innocent face

182

Hey, what's the Wi-Fi password?

Idiot, we're at a funeral!

All in one Word?

218

If you ran like your mouth, you'd be in good shape.

177

Change is much more than just some coins in your pocket.

179

People who remind me of myself are the worst

167

Trying to sleep like;
One sheep, two sheep, cow, turtle, duck, old mac Donald had a farm,
HEE MACARENA!!!!

257

People
who talk shit
will be reincarnated as toilet paper •

212

To make a long story short, don't tell it.

226

the only valentine's day cards
I'll accept are credit cards

159

I like the idea that someone, somewhere is made for you, forever.

225

Let's get drunk
and tell each other how
we really feel •

248

page 365 of 365

129

Sometimes you have to find the good in goodbye.

369

If your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself

491

Break rules, not hearts.

410

If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.

572

I am one Candy Crush invite away from murdering someone.

386

I'm not interested in where you work, or what you wear, or what your favorite color is, I'm interested in what you think.

266

My love is like a candle.

If you forget me, I'll burn your house down.

353

Keep your face towards the sunshine
and shadows will
fall behind you.

234

I love you so much
that I would tell you
if I dropped your toothbrush in the toilet.

224

The trouble with jogging is, by the time you realize you're not fit for it, it's too far to walk back •

409

10% of conflicts are due to differences in opinion.

90% are due to wrong tone of voice.

473

bock auf candle light döner?

373

I like to be alone.
But I would rather be alone with you.

523

Falling in love ain't easy.

1

I tripped and fell in love.

Don't worry, I brushed that shit off.

409

If at first you don't succeed, try *two more times* so that your failure is statistically relevant.

1

Dear Ex..

When you see me, i want you to recognize what you had, regret what you've lost, and realize what you're never getting back.

Sincerly Me

388

Ironically, the fight between the mind and the heart always ends up hurting the liver.

417

You don't have to be a cowboy to ride off into the sunset.

203

BAM!

2

If you're brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello. ~Paulo Coehlo

2

Here's a tissue, you have a little bullshit on your lip.

445

LET'S DO SOME "WE SHOULDN'T BE DOING THIS" THINGS.

494

I dont measure a mans success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom.

~George S. Patton

2

Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.

534

Creative work is not a selfish act or a bid for attention on the part of the actor. It's a gift to the world and every being in it. Don't cheat us of your contribution. Give us what you've got.

~Steven Pressfield

1

Tequila + me = lucky you!

276

My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"

812

Sometimes you just have to take a leap and hope there's safe ground to land on.

1

Home
Sweet
Home

...Alone

1

Wenn mich das Leben fickt, denke ich oft dabei an jemand anderen!

174

Voices in your head - normal

Listening to them - common

Arguing with them - acceptable

Losing the argument - BIG PROBLEM

703

The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.

823

Negative people need drama like oxygen. Stay positive and you'll take their breath away.

629

life is what happens when you put your phone down.

928

I HOPE YOUR DAY IS AS NICE AS YOUR BUTT

1035

Ego is a race.
And in this race, the winner is the loser.

453

Sun goes down earlier for short people.

664

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