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Posts Liked by wordbuzzer

If you think education is expensive

You should try the cost of ignorance

91

Be happy when the world doesn't want you to be

75

Being a father means responsibility. Not just for your main family, but also the secret one in Denmark nobody knows about.

60

There's nothing like the look on the face of a woman who has just entered a coffee shop and is praying you are not her Tinder date

64

Sometimes
sharing a
shower is all we can do to
help the environment

102

My gf told me: “Sex is better on holiday”. That wasn't a very nice postcard to receive.

95

Even if there was no gravity on earth, I'd still fall for you.

117

I'm not great at advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

108

"On the journey to myself
I've been so many people."

139

I will stop wearing black when another colour becomes equally as dark.

97

MILLION DOLLAR IDEA.

A SMOKE DETECTOR THAT TURNS OFF WHEN YOU YELL "I'M JUST COOKING FOR FUCKS SAKE"

99

The most annoying thing about people is remembering you are one of them.

119

rash decisions cause itchy privates

53

I’m starting to think I’m white enough to play Michael Jackson.

61

Love is unconditional. Love is, "I know you're a fucking psycho maniac, but I'm willing to deal with that."

117

Society has become so fake that the truth actually bothers people

120

I moaned and complained once because I had no shoes...Then I met a man who had no feet...And I bowed my head with shame for my complaints

74

you will never look like the girl in the magazine, the girl in the magazine doesn't even look like the girl in the magazine.

131

The word diarrhea.
Looks like it was written in a hurry.

78

I'm not crazy, my reality is just diffrent from yours

120

the words you speak become the house you live in

80

The milk has a Feb. 14th expiration date, and that's the only thing in my house with a valentines date.

99

listen carefully to what people don't say

162

The Internet!

Where everything is completely true.

73

I've finally accepted the fact that my behavior will never catch up with my age.

130

That satisfying moment when you watch two stupid people argue then decide to tell them to pause so you can go get some popcorn.

71

I bet in 2000 years they are gonna be digging up the rubble of our destroyed earth and they will find a Nokia still on half battery.

112

There's something wrong with your character if opportunity controls your loyalty.

109

The risk I took was calculated..

But man,

I'm bad at math..

116

if you like having sex while listening to music - always choose a live album. that way you'll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes.

116

ain't it funny that someday i'll be a couple of photos you forgot to delete

97

Mi papá tiene 47 años.
= My dad is 47 years old.

Mi papa tiene 47 anos.
= My potato has
47 assholes.

I love Spanish!

121

becoming me was the greatest creative project of my life

105

32

Teach me things. Introduce me to different authors, artists, and music. That shit is sexy as fuck.

116

I don't work
out, just so I have something to regret
on my deathbed.

63

It's not a fight and it's not a struggle. It's a mantra, a decision that you repeat over and over. To be better than you were, kinder than you feel, and to love, even when you feel nothing loves you back.

134

Everyone wants to be heard in their silence

131

If you had a bad day, don't take it out on me.

Unless we're both naked.

115

life is like a pubic hair on a toilet seat, you hang on and you hang on but eventually you get pissed off

52

People who love
to eat are always
the best people.

- Julia Child

34

life is like a pubic hair on a toilet seat, you hang on and you hang on but eventually you get pissed off

17

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