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Posts Liked by Tyler23

I ALWAY'S CARRY A KNIFE IN MY PURSE, YOU KNOW
IN CASE OF CHEESECAKE OR SOMETHING!

25

Looking for
a flat in Zurich tastes like a broken dream with a hint
of lowered expectations.

7

According to really smart people we should start caring.

59

when you change the way you look at things
the things you look at change

81

Er steht
auf sie.
Sie steht
auf ihn.
Ich steh daneben.

28

alcohol misteriously seems to attract cupid

22

ONLY CAPS LOCK CAN CAPTURE THE GREATNESS OF LIFE

56

c'est toi pour moi, moi pour toi dans la vie

tu me l'as dit, t'l'as juré pour la vie

8

Ich hab jetzt genau das richtige Alter.

Muss nur noch rauskriegen wofür.

32

Die Sprache des Herzens braucht keinen Dolmetscher.

11

having a surround sound tv will still freak me out after all.

watching a horror movie and hearing a little girl's voice whisper
'please help me'
behind you,
for example.

15

Es gibt mehr Leute, die kapitulieren, als solche, die scheitern.

11

Der Schlüssel zum Scheitern ist der Versuch, es allen recht zu machen.

25

I just ate soup in the bathtub.

What have you done with your life?

66

Der Schlüssel zum Scheitern ist der Versuch, es allen recht zu machen.

30

Society has become so fake that the truth actually bothers people

120

always good to know who you can rely on even if you don't expect it

21

When flat-chested girls post pics of them in a bikini on a beach it's 'cute', 'cool' and
'so pretty'.
But if a big-chested girl does it, it's 'attention-seeking', 'slutty' and 'trying to be a playmate'.

19

If the Earth
could have a baby,
would she let Humanity hold it?

78

I moaned and complained once because I had no shoes...Then I met a man who had no feet...And I bowed my head with shame for my complaints

74

MONTAG

Das "S" steht für supergut gelaunt.

29

If you're easy to get . . .

You'll be easy to forget . . .

123

holidays in Amsterdam:
have sex and get stoned

holidays in Saudi-Arabia:
have sex and get stoned

24

If people are talking about you behind your back, then just fart.

21

the world is what you make it.

18

I'm a mess right now. Inside out.

14

I’m starting to think I’m white enough to play Michael Jackson.

61

I learned to swim before I burned any bridges.

90

ok but consider this:

- who cares

61

Fifty shades of I'm sick of your shit.

61

Is it Hawking's "A Briefer History of Time" a scientific book about weekends?

-.-

1

eu quis fazer um boldomatic em português.

e fez.

2

You know, long distance relationships are so hard, especially since my boyfriend lives in the future!

197

I used to be the kind of guy mums like.

Somehow I've ended up being the kind of guy that likes mums.

116

There's a full moon tonight.

Are you feeling animalistic?

12

I need love when I'm least lovable.

15

If someone trusts you enough to share their secret, keep it.

15

I have a unique art style

I call it 'I tried'

33

people with a bad demeanour can stay away from me

13

Deleting emojis off people's names because they don't mean shit to you anymore.

21

One day you'll wake up and there won't be any time left to do the things you wanted.

Do them now.

17

Frühling im Anmarsch

19

Sorry ladies, but I already got my eyes on a woman who's not interested.

214

Lazy is such an ugly word, I prefer the term selective participation.

67

"What are you, twelve?"

Yeah, on a scale of one to ten.

107

I'm sorry you're miserable and hate your life, but stop trying to make me hate mine too.

19

i will tell you my sins

and you can sharpen your knife

132

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the middle ones for you.

61

Exercise
Exercis
Exerci
Exerc
Exer
Exe
Ex
Extra fries.

72

R.I.P to all the money I'll spend on food this year.

28

Don't say, do.

10

We all do the best we can, within the context of our experiences, up to that point. New experiences challenge us, and change us, and we fuck-up, and/or backslide, many times. But, we can also change-up, discover and become better.

I love that.

13

Sometimes you just need to cry and be sad. You need to break down and be torn apart. You need to learn how to pick yourself up and put yourself back together. Sometimes, the only way to be happy is to give into sadness first.

52

If zombies ever attack just go to Costco

they have concrete walls, years of foods and supplies and best of all the zombies can't get in without a Costco membership card

26

Too bad you don't live closer because there are evil plots to be hatched and twisted deeds to be done.

24

I tell myself repeatedly throughout the day to slow it down. Just slow it down..

15

The creative adult is the child who survived.

491

Dear Ex,

Please don't be fooled by Adele, you'll never find someone like me.

203

The sex was so good even the neighbours had a cigarette.

283

10% of conflicts are due to differences in opinion.

90% are due to wrong tone of voice.

279

Today, 2 year olds can unlock an iPhone, open and close their favorite apps all by themselves.

When I was that age,
I was eating dirt.

169

If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.

220

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

459

I love waving at random people, because you know for the rest of the day they're trying to figure out who the hell you were.

310

My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"

367

My internet was down for 5 minutes so I went downstairs and spoke to my family.

They seem like nice people.

356

You look like something
I draw with my left hand.

959

Ce moment when you start penser en deux langues at the same temps...

15

I hate when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn't follow the damn script.

18

all of my kindness is taken for weakness

13

I have noticed that if you look carefully at peoples eyes the first five seconds they look at you, the truth of their feelings will shine through for just an instant before it flickers away.

32

Isn't it weird how we basically have an endless mental conversation with ourselves?

56

I will do a lot of things but admitting I'm cold to my mother who told me to bring a jacket isn't one of them.

25

My son is the polar opposite of how I was at 16.
I just don't get where the lazy gene came from!

8

there's a little truth behind every
"just kidding"
a little curiosity behind every
"just wondering"
a little knowledge behind every
"i don't know"
and a little emotion behind every
"i don't care"

129

I wanted to write down exactly what I felt but somehow the paper stayed empty

and I could not have described it any better

296

The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.

29

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful.

It's the transition thats troublesome.

20

more celebrities should donate blood like could you imagine having the blood of meryl streep running through your veins

15

I don't think people realise how hard it is to re-discover the person you were before depression or even try to remember your own personality

30

I have a tremendous fear of failing and not succeeding and dissappointing people in life.

19

February is short and March is long...

Who decided these heights? What if February wanted to be tall for once?

12

I'm happy!
hab heute "lerntag". ich bin aufgestanden und hab zwei gipfeli vor der türe und eine sms vom chef: "damit du gut in den tag startest"

16

that surprising moment when you realize you have more money than you thought

36

Do you ever pretend you didn't see something so the other person doesn't feel embarrassed?

34

Its not easy to move forward when you're used to moving backward.

Backward is easy and forward is fucking painful.

7

When you feel the whole world on your shoulders, it feels like you're about to collapse and no one is there to help you.

Everyone seems to shoot at you until you collapse under the burden.

Only then can you get up and start anew.

8

I doubt Vodka is the answer, but it's worth a shot.

38

In 1815 women had no rights.

In 1915 women fought for some rights.

In 2015 women are always fucking right!

40

I have a bed* habit.

24

Some people feel the rain. Others just have wet dreams.

- Bob Marley

40

cocktail, beach, 23°C

vs

tea, snow, -3°C

yes Imma stay in Dubai

27

If love can be withdrawn
It never was

(Leonard Nimoy)

35

They tried to bury me.
They didn't know I was a seed.

54

When the world feels too much.

Get your radio, your ipod, mp3, any fucking thing and turn that shit up, until you feel like you can take a breath without crying. Put your headphones in, and kick the bad thoughts out, until all you can hear is the beat, the tune, the lyrics.

32

Being beautiful doesnt make you nice....

....Being nice makes you beautiful....

60

Whenever someone says, "You look familiar. Where have I seen you before?" I like to respond with, "Do you watch porn?"

82

lazy is such an ugly word

I prefer the term selective participation

93

Can you imagine parents nowadays explaining to their kids how they met?

"Well, it all started one day when your dad 'liked' one of my selfies."

77

If traveling was free you'd never see me again.

56

People
who talk shit
will be reincarnated as toilet paper •

78

Es heisst ja "Guten Morgen", weil "Halt die Fresse und geh sterben" gesellschaftlich nicht so akzeptiert ist.

62

I don't have any bad habits.

I am good at all of them.

205

does running away from my problems count as jogging?

278

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