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Posts Liked by tuna

ToDo-List-Idea #3

Get into a crowded elevator and say "I bet you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

26

..dangerous
in all the right
ways •

18

ToDo-List-Idea #5

Follow joggers around in your car blasting "Eye of the Tiger" for encouragement.

23

,,Kochen ist keine Kunst, essen muss man es können,,

14

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahanotfunny.

26

Ich habe heute schon den Desktophintergrund von Gelb auf Grün gewechselt und bin mal gespannt, was der Nachmittag bringt.

26

und wie du wieder aussiehst!

21

"Hörst Du mir
überhaupt zu ?

"Geht mir genauso."

27

M

Die Frau vor mir an der Kasse, hat keinen Warentrennstab zwischen uns gelegt.

Ist das Liebe ?
Ich kann mit geheimen Botschaften nich umgehen.

28

Wollte das erste Mal seit 6 Monaten wieder Fahrrad fahren.

Gaspedal nicht gefunden.

Geweint.

Bus genommen.

30

Schäle Kartoffeln.

Der Supermarktleiter guckt komisch.

25

Typisch:
Kaum sind die Augenringe weg, ist schon wieder Nacht.

25

Bin mir oft nicht sicher was ich auf der Arbeit mache.

Bis ich jemanden rufen höre: "Welcher Idiot war das ?"

Dann fällts mir wieder ein.

31

Ich hab's aufgegeben, "den einen" zu suchen. suche jetzt "den anderen".

33

Run Monday run.

This world is not made for you.

41

Volumenshampoo benutzt.

Haare nach wie vor sehr leise.

45

mistwetter.

ich dachte schon ich hab Sonnenbrand, aber das ist Rost.

27

NSA liked
a post
of yours

111

Men: if you ever want to know what a woman's mind feels like,imagine a browser with 2,837 tabs open.

All.The.Time.

96

i'm trying to get in to the christmas spirit but the damn bottle won't open.

118

Some days, the best thing about my job is that the chair spins.

238

Wednesdays are the middle finger of the week.

149

monday. monday. monday. monday. monday. saturday. sunday.

174

Dear Algebra,
stop asking us to find your "X".
She's not coming back.

124

If I was a bird, I know who I'd shit on first.

42

I find the best way to get rid of telesales people is to ask them - "What are you wearing?"

32

a mosquito landed on my balls... hardest decision of my life

114

I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life
-
if I die next thursday.

115

bad decisions make good stories

423

destroying everything seems like the best option.

17

You can't buy happiness - but you can buy drinks and that's pretty close.

60

I'm out of bed -
what more do you want?

11

today has been cancelled - go back to bed

40

I just read that 4.154.237 people got married last year. Not to start any trouble. But it should be an even number.

17

I think that i could fall madly in bed with you.

14

Love is like farting.
If you have to force it, then it's probably shit.

180

I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out.

197

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