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Posts Liked by thijn

I like mysteries so I decided to become one.

137

My doctor told me to watch my drinking so I found a few places with mirrors behind the bar.

110

i want to fuck you so bad right now.

damn autocorrect..

i meant hey.

175

It's okay.

My comebacks are as epic as my fuck-ups.

120

Be careful who you make memories with, those things can last forever.

235

I am an artist.

(copy+paste)

108

TODAY I DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING ANYTHING.

(like every single day...)

1

If you think you can make anything idiot proof, then you're the idiot.

153

Dear Sneeze,

If you're going to happen, happen.

Don't put a stupid look on my face and then just leave.

251

can every cute boy just stop being:
-in an other country
-10 years older
-gay
-taken
-famous

4

twinkle twinkle little whore,
close your legs they're not a door

2

-are you free tonight?

-no i'm fucking expensive

2

white Lie?

I see gold lines

Running through it??

12

ADAM'S APPLE

NOTE : ADAM NEVER ATE AN APPLE

5

i have this bumper sticker that says "honk if you think i'm sexy" and then i wait at green lights until i feel better about myself.

171

The problem with two faced people is deciding which face to slap first

4

Even though the blames on you, you can put that blame on me

1

I'm not
afraid of heights.
I just don't like
clouds.

133

your age is the number of times you went around the sun...

232

MAYBE SHE'S BORN WITH IT,
MAYBE IT'S AN INSTAGRAM FILTER.

192

Exercise
Exercis
Exerci
Exerc
Exer
Exe
Ex
Extra fries.

219

Can you imagine parents nowadays explaining to their kids how they met?

"Well, it all started one day when your dad 'liked' one of my selfies."

218

I DO WHAT I WANT, WHEN I WANT, WHERE I WANT!!!

If mom says it's okay.

31

YOUR
PHONE SCREEN
IS BRIGHTER THAN YOUR FUTURE.

105

what's the difference between a homeless guy and a hipster?

-the iPhone

105

YOLO

you only live online

93

roses are red

violets are blue

vodka is cheaper
than dinner for two

53

HI SEXY!!
Shut The Door,
Drop Your Pant's, Climb on top of me and satisfy
Your need's..

LOVE ALWAYS
YOUR
TOILET X

48

The 5 symptoms of laziness:

1.

63

Today a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.....apparently "in HD" was not the right answer...

106

Noticing how beautiful the city lights are at night while getting chased by the cops.

187

Can february march?

No. But april may

310

Today a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.....apparently "in HD" was not the right answer...

345

I found your nose.

Its in my business again.

135

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