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Posts Liked by tanlines

Going back to your ex is like taking a shower and putting your dirty underwear back on.

30

yes, please.

16

I don't want realism.

I want magic.

18

I have mixed drinks about feelings...

34

make your life a story worth telling

23

i would like to apologize to anyone i have not offended yet. please be patient. i'll get to you shortly.

26

Which came first, the idiot or sarcasm?

29

The best way to get over someone is probably with your vehicle.

34

Not to brag, but I can ruin any conversation by being too honest.

28

life hack:

when nothing goes right,
go to bed

49

Can february march?

No. But april may

310

quit your job
travel the world
die happy

173

Sun goes down earlier for short people.

279

Sometimes you have to find the good in goodbye.

369

I'm Here from Tech Support..

I'm Here To Delete Your Cookies !!!

12

Was ist grün und nuschelt im Gurkensalat?

Dill Schweiger

14

You guys are going to miss me so bad if I ever get my priorities right.

15

ditch the bitch

17

*wears pajamas all day*
*showers at 5:00 pm*
*changes into new pajamas*

16

I think the key is not to think about it too much.
If it works, who cares why it does.

17

heute viel geschafft, fragt der kopf

heute schon gelebt, fragt das herz

15

wouldn't it be ironic to die in the living room?

18

I don't call them new year Resolutions,
I prefer the term,
"Casual promises to myself that i'm under no legal obligation to Fulfill"

25

One of the most expensive things you will ever do is pay attention to the wrong person.

26

You sound better with your
mouth closed.

26

me + travel
= happy

20

Adulthood:

Knowing things you'd rather not.

31

You become like the 5 people
you spend most of your time with.

Choose wisely.

32

If you didn't want me to build a pancake catapult why did you leave me unsupervised for 4 and a half minutes?

40

Just because it's a bad idea doesn't mean it's not going to be a good time.

25

there's no time to be bored in a world as beautiful as this

31

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