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Posts Liked by SwinglaR

we have egg shortage because so many hens began identifying as roosters

16

McDonald's called out order 867 and I yelled 5309 and nobody laughed then I felt old and ate my burger in the playground area.

5

Congratulations!

My tallest finger wants to give you a standing ovation!

15

The greatest moment was when I truly met myself, and I was terrified by the freedom to choose love or hate.

19

Want to be strong???Learn to fight alone...

3

Sensitive people will do everything more..They love more...respect more...suffer more.....

2

Let the pressure in life bring out the best in you

2

Maybe I will stop wanting what other people have once I see that I have what other people want.

61

If you see me eating a salad in a restaurant, I've been kidnapped and I am trying to signal you!

131

I can't be the only one who's ever wanted to jump in a taxi and shout:

"Follow that car!"

57

I can't be the only one who's ever wanted to jump in a taxi and shout:

"Follow that car!"

102

Sleep is no appropriate substitute for coffee.

68

If sex, shots, or sleep can't solve it, you have a fucking problem.

182

it's a little known fact that fetishism existed long before mankind.

there was actually a small subgroup of dinosaurs that always wore high heels.

they were called myfeetaresoreus.

69

it's a little known fact that fetishism existed long before mankind.

there was actually a small subgroup of dinosaurs that always wore high heels.

they were called myfeetaresoreus.

74

My biography will be titled "Be Yourself And Other Ways To Stay Single."

100

A lot of people cry when they cut onions, the trick is not to form an emotional bond.

213

Be careful When you Follow The
"MASSES"

Sometimes The
"M "
Is Silent ;-)

124

Happiness starts with you.
Not with your relationship,
not with your job, not with your money,
but with you!

29

my only regret is I didn't tell more people to fuck off

8

A SMILE

a language everyone understands.

9

this grave stone was won on a boldomatic competition

47

"You only live once?"
FALSE
You Live Everyday

You only DIE ONCE.

135

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