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Posts Liked by Sipada

If you see me eating a salad in a restaurant, I've been kidnapped and I am trying to signal you!

131

I can't be the only one who's ever wanted to jump in a taxi and shout:

"Follow that car!"

102

I bet in 2000 years they are gonna be digging up the rubble of our destroyed earth and they will find a Nokia still on half battery.

112

I love waving at random people, because you know for the rest of the day they're trying to figure out who the hell you were.

788

There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying,

"I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."

722

I'm not crazy, my reality is just diffrent from yours

120

I'm not necessarily saying I want to be rich but it would be nice to not have to check my bank account before purchasing Ramen noodles

106

The Internet!

Where everything is completely true.

73

IT'S GOING TO BE ONE
OF THOSE DAYS.

THE VOICES IN MY HEAD ARE FIGHTING.
MY IMAGINARY
FRIEND IS RUNNING WITH SCISSORS.
AND ONE OF MY
PERSONALITIES WANDERED OFF.

96

ew, people.

9

tanz mal drüber nach.

3

you will never look like the girl in the magazine, the girl in the magazine doesn't even look like the girl in the magazine.

131

The word diarrhea.
Looks like it was written in a hurry.

78

Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murdereres, if you do find one, what's your plan?

123

Push the snooze button for me, will you?

56

my therapist is crying.

maybe it was a little too much for him...

86

Today would be a great day to leave a note on a random car saying: " I know what you did"

117

I ordered a life alert bracelet, if I ever get a life I'll be notified immediately.

91

I'm not great at advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

108

If you think the Mount Everest is high, come and see my Mount Laundry!

105

I haven't lost my mind... half of it just wandered off, and the other half went looking for it...

132

Might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery, the odds are about the same

95

stats show that the average person has sex 89 times a year. looks like i'm in store for a wild December !

89

When you have more than you need build a bigger table - not a higher fence.

141

I have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other.

I'm also deaf in one ear.

133

Love is saying
"I know you're a fucking psycho manic but I'm willing to work
with that."

143

Most people have X's

I have a bunch of Y's & WTF's

93

When asked if he'd rather have a baby brother or a baby sister, my brother gave it some thought and answered:
"A bicycle."

71

My boss told me to have a nice day. So I went home.

171

whenever you feel getting pulled into other people's nonsense, repeat these words :

Not my circus.
Not my monkeys.

147

I don't know if I'm hungry, but I'm going to eat anyway...just in case

110

No matter where you are or where you grow up -

you always go through the same awkward moments of being a teenager and growing up and trying to figure out who you are

116

Ich kann auch problemlos Musik hören, ohne zu joggen

38

Dear pillow, sorry for all the drool.

16

I can't tell if I'm hungry, but better eat just in case.

38

Just because you're trash doesn't mean you can't do great things.

It's called garbage can, not garbage cannot.

37

Drop pants
not bombs.

55

Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.

• Franz Kafka

30

I had a great time last night...well thats what the police report says.

238

Can't get out of bed.

Send help....,
or waffles.

Just send waffles.

247

A fuck must be earned. I can't go down the street with a bucket of fucks, giving them out to everyone.
If I feel that you've earned it, I will give a fuck.

321

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else -

is the greatest accomplishment

277

it's not a Sunday unless you completely waste it then feel really sad around 8pm

337

Potatoes give us french fries and vodka.

It's your move, celery.

231

your demons and
mine want to have dinner some time.

188

Thanks for pretending not to see me when I was pretending not to see you in order to avoid a miserably awkward conversation that neither of us wanted to have.

193

Drop pants
not bombs.

137

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