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Posts Liked by rush

It's
Pink
Wednesday!

90

One day I'll buy new shoes without taking off my current shoes to see what size they are. One day.

103

No matter what kind of instant noodles you buy, they all taste like poverty and loneliness.

181

Normal is getting
dressed in clothes
that you buy for work
& driving through traffic
in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, aaaand the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to leave in it...

171

YOUNG, WILD AND RETARDED.

262

Let's get drunk and fall in love every other weekend.

243

We're going to buy a dog or have a child, but can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or our lives.

188

If I wanted to please everyone, I were born as Nutella

311

Never trust a warm toilet seat

303

If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between shit and syphillis!

407

Right now, somebody is hard at work in a factory, shoving chocolate eggs up a bunny's ass, for you.

196

until 0% battery do us part

337

Yes mom I know my room is a mess it's a metaphor for my life, i'm trying to be poetic.

462

I love waving at random people, because you know for the rest of the day they're trying to figure out who the hell you were.

788

Telling a girl to "calm down" is like trying to baptize a cat.

566

Today, 2 year olds can unlock an iPhone, open and close their favorite apps all by themselves.

When I was that age,
I was eating dirt.

617

I wanted to write down exactly what I felt but somehow the paper stayed empty

and I could not have described it any better

583

Voices in your head - normal

Listening to them - common

Arguing with them - acceptable

Losing the argument - BIG PROBLEM

703

Negative people need drama like oxygen. Stay positive and you'll take their breath away.

629

Try to be less of a fucking piece of shit than you were yesterday.

- Buddha

531

I like the nights.

Some of my best days were nights.

582

life is what happens when you put your phone down.

928

My internet was down for 5 minutes so I went downstairs and spoke to my family.

They seem like nice people.

1135

i just burnt my tongue on some food

they say the ones you love hurt you the most

797

Ladies, lets take extra long to look stunning for all the guys we'll be ignoring tonight.

590

Sun goes down earlier for short people.

664

I love making people who don't like me hate me more by just being me.

612

Tequila + me = lucky you!

276

LET'S DO SOME "WE SHOULDN'T BE DOING THIS" THINGS.

494

Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.

534

Let's go camping.

In a hotel.
With a pool. And a spa.

427

If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.

572

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone?... That's common sense leaving your body.

395

Dear Ex..

When you see me, i want you to recognize what you had, regret what you've lost, and realize what you're never getting back.

Sincerly Me

388

I tripped and fell in love.

Don't worry, I brushed that shit off.

409

A lot of people cry when they cut onions, the trick is not to form an emotional bond.

396

that awkward moment when I'm drunk
and you're still ugly

478

The trouble with jogging is, by the time you realize you're not fit for it, it's too far to walk back •

409

I've never seen a Mcdonalds or a Burger King under construction.

They just show up.

389

A baby's laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear.

Unless it's 3am.

And you're home alone.

And you don't have a baby.

427

My love is like a candle.

If you forget me, I'll burn your house down.

353

I wish cake went straight to my boobs.

215

Those who snore always fall asleep first.

205

I can think of absolutely no acceptable situation where a grown man should be taking a bathroom mirror selfie.

211

Don't be sad laundry,
no one is doing me either

222

Sometimes,
even Google
can't help you.

221

My girlfriend told me to take a spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer.

222

Never depend on someone else to make you happy, that's what alcohol is for.

222

You're not fat! C'mon, chin up.

No, the other one...

195

Maybe she's not on her period... Maybe you are just an asshole....

256

The most amazing people are the ones that don't speak much, but when they do, they shut up a lot of mouths.

295

Pretty busy today. Was only able to check my phone 1400 times.

145

just wanted to update everyone on the fact that absolutely nothing new is happening in my life

203

Show a girl you don't care and she'll chase you. Show a woman you don't care and she'll replace you.

250

I dont have exes, I have Y's. Y the fuck did I date you?

180

Worry is just meditating on bullshit

205

In life you will find that you have to make decisions that make sense to none but you.

182

My brain keeps making appointments that my body cannot keep.

143

Quit playing. Let's just
show and tell...

83

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.

209

There's an ancient birth control secret. It's called "keep your legs together.

132

Here's a tissue, you have a little bullshit on your lip.

445

My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"

812

You remind me of my big toe, cause i'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture I own

470

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