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Posts Liked by rony

When someone is murdered, the police investigate the spouse first.

And that tells you everything you need to know about marriage.

20

I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and half of Fridays.

17

It's not that I'm tired.

It's just that I don't like standing on my feet with my eyes open.

173

I eat cake because it's somebody's birthday somewhere.

82

You seem like a sweet person.

Mind if I lick you to find out?

59

Dear life,
When I asked if my day could get worse, it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

36

A hot Indian girl must be a Bomb Bae, right?

11

Have you ever noticed that a woman's
"be ready in 5 minutes"
and a man's
"be home in 5 minutes"
are exactly the same?

108

My level of sarcasm is to a point where I don't even know if I'm kidding or not.

20

That moment when you give someone advice, they don't listen to you, then you sit back and watch everything you predicted happen.

25

Work until your idols become your rivals.

298

Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.

452

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