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Posts Liked by nowayinhell

If you are lonely when you are alone, you are bad company.

57

The gym.

As if an architect was asked to design
the otiosity of life.

The result: a room
full of machines
going nowhere.

79

Here, take
my advice.
I'm not using
it anyway.

88

I don't always have time but when I do, I don't.

78

Friends forever.

Dying is not an excuse.

85

The only thing that remains the same is that nothing will.

59

Being unique, just like everyone else.

79

Less is

83

o
MO N

71

You don't
make friends with loneliness.

68

I think that new Coca-Cola line, i.e. "taste the feeling", could as easily have been a Durex-slogan to promote its flavoured condoms.

81

Think
less
more

70

When the
world zigs,
zag.

55

Today's therapy session for people with separation anxiety is cancelled due to the fact that last week's session hasn't finished yet.

75

"Is it dark in there?"
- "Don't know, I can't
see a thing."

54

sh?rk

37

"Mind your step"
is a comment
that belongs on
a minefield.

77

I've been thinking
and I came to the conclusion that maybe I should do this more often.

61

If you need
some space
for yourself
to be alone,
try Google+

86

Add a few dots in
the end to make your sentence appear more meaningful...

72

To all of you alcoholics: stop drinking.

I don't like competition.

32

My parents-in-law don't have children, so I'm still single.

60

Wish
thoughtful.

50

Aren't you that guy they always mix up with that other guy?

57

"Why do you always
have to procrastinate everything?"
- "Can we talk about
that later?"

70

"Silence
is golden",
he said.

30

Freddy wanted presence for his birthday.

34

"Cheap"also
costs money.

42

"Sorry I broke
your arm."
- "It's fine, I have another one."

30

Judgement Day?

Sorry, can't.

40

Tomorrow
is often
the busiest
day of the week.

29

Whenever I'm at the supermarket and I see one of those stacks of "grandma's apple pie", this image pops up in
my head of a sweatshop with all the grannies in
it baking pie like mad.

39

Draw shocked faces on the oranges in your refrigerator so the fruit looks busted when you open it.

31

Friends
are terrible
enemies.

27

"My sandwich was thrown on the railroad."
- "On purpose?"
"No, on the railroad."

26

I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.

35

"What would you do if you were paralyzed?"
- "Nothing."

28

"Are you on Facebook?"
- "No, on business travel."

22

Freddy pointed out cups of tea that weren't his.

19

People in wheelchairs just sit around all day.

14

People who suffer from Parkinson's disease make excellent cocktail shakers.

24

I've got nothing
to lose because
I don't lose.

30

There is nothing worse than your phone charger getting stuck in
the wheels of your office chair and
that afterwards your parents die
in a forest fire.

74

"Dad, what is a miscarriage?"
- "You."

29

Well I'd certainly put my tongue in your cheeck.

35

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

63

I don't like it when people use arduous words in order to come across as perspicacious.

20

Those who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

19

"What are the odds?"
- "The ratio of probability of an event's occurring to the probability of its not occurring."

22

Repost if you're looking forward to the summer or
if you ever stole a goat from a Greek farmer who had a passion for tap dancing and painting potatoes.

14

Repost if you have never reposted something on Boldomatic and if you want to keep it that way!

9

||
||
||
||
||
SPIDER I AN
W

19

Sorry, the original post was deleted by its author.

18

Hurry
slowly.

15

Sax &
Violins

16

If you want many
people to attend
your funeral, you
better die young.

31

The worst thing about
online dating is seven
year olds pretending
to be an overweight,
fifty-something year
old single from Idaho
who recently got fired
because of some stupid reorganization.

37

The less clothes, the more naked.

14

"He drives his kids to school every day! Why don't you do that?"
- "Why? I don't even
know those kids."

14

I'm glad someone invented punctuation comma since it makes left parenthesis when used properly right parenthesis reading much comma much easier in general exclamation mark

22

Freddy wasn't bold. "I'm more the italic type of guy", he claimed.

16

Take me down to the paradise city,
where the girls are green
and the grass is pretty.

(Roses N' Guns)

15

Freddy thought
"Pandora's box"
was a porn film.

14

You are in fact
very useful
because you
are the only one
who can provide
your absence
legally.

19

First
world problems
first.

26

I'm not interested, Norris Chuck.

21

I'm awfully afraid that I might have hypochondriasis.

23

Freddy believed he could fly before R. Kelly did.

20

What's
the hurry, Harry?

13

Louis went
Theroux a lot.

16

W W
O

11

Always when I'm at the end of my money, there's a piece
of month left.

22

You can't
prevent the
future.

16

Hypothetical high five

11

Freddy had a box to think in. Outside of that box he couldn't concentrate. "Too much noise", so he claimed.

12

The anchor man of
the evening news
always starts saying "good evening" and
then he proceeds
telling you why it is
in fact not a good
evening.

18

/ Open the first book you see on a random page
/ Add the page numbers
/ Multiply by 4
/ Write the outcome on your left hand
/ Add some cereal

14

To calculate your Body Mass Index, you simply divide the hours in total you spend on Netflix per day by the distance from your flat to the nearest fast food joint.

29

I couldn't care less, but I would if I could.

31

"Do you already know what you're going to
do after graduation?"
- "First I'll have to do the laundry and then I might take a shower. And after that I'm just going to watch House Of Cards or something. So. What about you?"

10

Towels
get wet
while
drying.

14

"How was your weekend?"
- "O, the usual: two days. First it was Saturday and then came Sunday. What about yours?"

10

Freddy lived
near a bridge
too far.

12

Although some might claim the opposite, my writing skills are quite versatile.

My vocabulary
for instance, is
quite versatile.

64

And now, Vladimir, you Putin some lemon juice.

15

david@enborough.com

18

From his point of
view, Freddy had
a few points.

11

Freddy's nephew Joe was average in every possible way.

10

Freddy called a day "a day" too.

12

There is no such thing as a "spontaneous plan."

8

Sometimes Freddy
accidentally spoke
French. But he always
pardoned himself for
doing so. Then he'd
explain that "pardon"
is in fact French too.

10

The current population of India is 1,323,490,684 as
of April 16, 2016 based on the latest United Nations estimations. Which is quite a lot of people. But did you know that if you would put all of them in one room, they would be like wtf are we doing here get me out.

10

A couple of years
ago, Freddy pulled
strings for a living.
He was a sublime
marionettist.

10

Repost if you think baby animals are cute or if you ever traded your left shoe for two male goats and a deaf bison with an identity crisis while you were hitchhiking your way to Moscow.

8

Freddy claimed to be good looking.
"Never needed glasses in my entire life, there is absolutely nothing wrong with my sight", so he said.

8

Freddy founded an organisation against keeping elephants
in rooms.

11

Freddy would pull your leg when he asked you to pull his finger.

8

After Freddy sold his house in the middle
of Nowhere, he moved to Somewhere in the East.

9

O, shoot.
I never joke about guns.

17

Do you know how
to torment a
curious person?

Tantalize him
completely?

And maybe even torture him?

9

I'm not autistic; it's just that there are as many i's in this line as there are a's.

19

Game Of Thrones
/ Spoiler

(.) (.) (o)(o) (°)(°)

(') (') ? ? {.}{.}

(O)(O) (o )( o) (0)(0)

8

Stop making sense.

18

Which one would you choose?
/ A lighter that never runs out
/ Second belly-button

7

A fully grown
hippopotamus
consists for 43%
of rhubarb.

8

Freddy goes to the same tailor as the wolf in sheep's clothing.

11

Freddy dated Louise for eight months. She was
a good looking Highland Cattle.

7

One-liner Cinema
/ Kill Bill

Girl in yellow suit wants to kill her ex and his friends but all of them are pretty good at fighting so it takes two movies instead of one to do so.

8

"It's my birthday."
- "Again?"

9

/ Multiply your age by 14
/ Divide by 11
/ Tear off the front page
of a newspaper
/ Use this piece to write down the outcome
/ Become friends with a buffalo named Hendrick

8

He's wrong but Robin is Wright.

9

I couldn't row but luckily Lisa Kudrow.

23

Certainty
is adjacent to probability.

7

Freddy once punched a rabbit.
But that was self-defense.

8

Freddy was convinced that the Internet was just
another fashion trend
everyone would forget about it any time soon. "Just like the Macarena and Gwen Stefani", he added.

6

"How should I drive?"
- "Properly."

5

New York City is huge.
Did you know that if you would empty hundreds
of swimmingpools on it, the New Yorkers would be like aah run for your life

6

If there only was a word that describes what I think of people who use the word "haughty."

5

/ Multiply your age by 2
/ Add 12
/ Divide this number by 4
/ Raise a wolf
/ Confront your neighbour with a touching childhood memory
/ Bark at a tomato

5

Oback
Borama!

4

Reality is very much like virtual reality but without the virtual.

5

Not many people
know that, before becoming god of the underworld, Hades
was working as doorkeeper in Hotel Diament Arsenal between Chorzów and Katowice in Poland.

4

/ Take a random book
/ Now go to page 112
/ Find the 7th sentence
/ Pat gently an orange
/ Become a lumberjack
/ Meet a Mipsy

5

Freddy walked under dogs.

4

Suicide is away of life

91

George, do you
C. Scott? I can't find
him anywhere.

14

"Is this dance music?"
- "No, it's John's."

33

Am I going to walk
the girl home or will Kyle Walker?

21

Rachel, Weisz your brother looking at me like that?

24

Comme
des
fuckdown

16

We need to start worrying about what kind of world we are going to leave for Keith Richards.

37

"I'm not a tattletale but it was him who did it."

18

Cooking with celebrities Step 4. Add Sheeran.

28

Isn't it romantic when he holds you like a
six-pack?

19

Cheers to bruised egos and broken hearts

23

Come to me and mark your territory

27

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