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Posts Liked by neckenzie

what if birds aren't singing and they're screaming because they are afraid of heights...

103

Men: if you ever want to know what a woman's mind feels like,imagine a browser with 2,837 tabs open.

All.The.Time.

135

I'm going to name my first child FRIDAY.

16

Skinny girls think they are chubby,
chubby girls think they're fat
and fat girls think they can wear leggings •

196

Who's busy shoving a cactus up my ass!?

Ahhh, Monday, it's you again.

29

My favorite pickup line: Get in the van...

30

Sad story: my favorite Italian chef died. In other words, he pasta way.

120

Don't be shy.

10

You are more awesome than a monkey wearing a tuxedo

210

Lol what? No, I'm not lonely, I have me.

17

The hardest part about beginning a new relationship is learning to fart quietly again...

42

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives..

20

i play the keyboard in a band called the internet

318

If I died and went to hell it would probably take me a while to realize that I'm not at work anymore.

53

Don't rush me, I'm waiting for the last minute.

15

Eminem (Rapper):
"Es ist schon komisch, dass ein Mann, der sich um nichts auf der Welt Sorgen machen muss, hingeht und eine Frau heiratet"

9

Hey there Friday,
I've been waiting to see your sexy ass since Monday...let's do this.

316

When you realize you forgot to turn off a light and your whole universe is shattered

7

My life is anxiety.

9

troublemaker.

34

What if we are all particles on a grilled cheese sandwich?

237

Who needs April Fools when your entire life is a joke.

63

My damn iPhone is broken.

I pressed the home button and I'm still at work...

105

I'm planning on getting to therapy late so I don't have to talk about my childhood.

10

step aside coffee
this is a job for alcohol

26

If I ever get a pitbull, I'm naming it
Mr. Worldwide

8

There comes a time when a blind man takes your hand and says, “Don't you see?”

18

Teeth are so weird, they're just like these sharp jagged bones that ripped through your skin and fell out then came back bigger and your mouth is just full of them like what

12

There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying,

"I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."

722

Always trust the people who like big butts. They cant lie.

17

LISTEN TO SILENCE

612

I'll go anywhere you go.

9

Girls don't like boys, girls like celebrities old enough to be their parents.

11

IT IS NOT
MONDAY' S
FAULT!

394

You know who I hate?
Others.

I've narrowed it down to that group.

15

“I remained too much inside my head and ended up losing my mind.”

- Edgar Allan Poe

13

I gave you my
shaking hands
I gave you my
aching head
I gave you my
waking thoughts
I gave you all I
was.

10

you realize your childhood is over when you sleep on the couch and you wake up on the couch. :(

17

I really need to learn another language. Half the time I can't understand anything on Bold.

17

I hate how you're just born out of nowhere and you're forced to get an education so you can get a job like

what if I wanted to be a duck

10

“The loneliest moment in someone's life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.”

6

Dear sleep, i know we had problems when i was younger, but now i love you.

5

love like Jesus.
#rYm

1

We'll always be friends, you know too much.

132

We all need space to
ourselves sometimes.

•
| |
||

31

There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying,

"I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."

539

If I have ten ice cubes and you have eleven oranges, how many pancakes can fit on the roof? Purple. Because aliens don't wear hats.

126

I just had a near-work experience.

91

I swear to drunk I'm not God, but seriously, stay in drugs, eat school and don't do vegetables.

91

THIS IS BY FAR YOUR MOST FUCKED UP IDEA EVER... I'LL BE THERE IN 10MINUTES.

208

Whenever I delete an app on my phone,
the shaking icons make me feel like they're all panicked over who's getting axed •

532

Home sweet mess.

409

It's hip to be squared.

166

I just awesomed all over the place.

428

Everyone's curious

But no one really cares.

389

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