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Posts Liked by maryslamb

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I am a creature of the night.

178

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103

And I think to myself...

295

i play the keyboard in a band called the internet

318

What if we are all particles on a grilled cheese sandwich?

237

Do not have unprotected
text.

244

When the cockroaches are wearing party hats, it's time to clean the kitchen.

224

it's always words that undress you.

266

Let's do the rabbit thing.

269

I wish I could trade my heart for another liver so I could drink more and care less.

313

The
only thing stronger than a mother's love is a
garlic breath •

318

If fantasy was realistic -
reality would be fantastic.

408

men at
25 play football.
man at
40 play tennis.
man at
60 play golf.

have you noticed that as you get older your balls get smaller?

201

hell yeah
its friday.

219

hell yeah
its friday.

219

don't give up on your dreams.

keep sleeping.

496

You don't have a Valentine?

Some people don't have a mother on mother's day or a father on father's day, so
SHUT UP!

269

I HATE BEING
BIPOLAR
IT IS AWESOME

340

You and I are more than friends.
We are like a really small gang.

27

All we need is less.

67

Think of a number between 0 and 20. Add 32 to it. Multiply by 2. Subtract 1. Now close your eyes.

It's dark, isn't it?

109

Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.

628

I may look calm but in my head I have already killed you three times AND hid the body.

241

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