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Posts Liked by macfish

At the end of the day, life should ask us,
Do you want to save the changes?

317

My Super Power?

Opening a text & mentally responding...
then forgetting to actually respond...

26

I just wanna sit on a rooftop with someone at 2am & just look at the night sky, not worrying about anything going on in life.

48

The best feeling in the world is kissing someone for the first time when you've really wanted to kiss them for a long time.

37

The centre of a donut is 100% fat free

33

ladies, if you think your man is cheating take him to that bitch's frontdoor and see if his wifi connects automatically

108

A lot of people cry when they cut onions, the trick is not to form an emotional bond.

396

find a job
you love
and you never work
a day in
your life

90

IMAGINE

If trees gave off WiFi
signals, we would be
planting so many trees
and we'd probably
save the planet too!

Too bad they only
produce the oxygen
we breathe.

97

Relationships
without sex
are like happy
meals without
toys •

74

YOU DON'T HAVE TO
BE A PUNK TO MAKE A STATEMENT.

41

When already in a queue, and you see more 'queue' options...

Stick with your line, don't switch.

Karma takes Queue's seriously!

40

Me: for Christmas I
want a unicorn.

Santa: be realistic!

Me: ok I want a
boyfriend.

Santa: what colour do
you want your
unicorn?

153

When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing"
It does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.

146

If men could get pregnant, not only abortion would be legal, but birth control would be free, mandatory and bacon-flavored

80

beautiful things don't ask for attention

159

Irony is 15 year old mothers using protective covers on their smartphones

194

only when a mosquito lands on your testicles, you realize there's a way to solve problems without using violence.

185

If I wanted to please everyone, I were born as Nutella

311

With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything

783

Today, 2 year olds can unlock an iPhone, open and close their favorite apps all by themselves.

When I was that age,
I was eating dirt.

617

Voices in your head - normal

Listening to them - common

Arguing with them - acceptable

Losing the argument - BIG PROBLEM

703

I like the nights.

Some of my best days were nights.

582

Ironically, the fight between the mind and the heart always ends up hurting the liver.

417

that awkward moment when I'm drunk
and you're still ugly

478

10% of conflicts are due to differences in opinion.

90% are due to wrong tone of voice.

473

I can think of absolutely no acceptable situation where a grown man should be taking a bathroom mirror selfie.

211

damn.

don't you hate it when you think you're out buying organic veggies and when you get home you realize they're just regular donuts?

makes me mad.

138

if i had 1$ for everytime i got called beautiful i'd have 1$

thanks mom

200

The blurred picture around the smartphone is called life.

261

The most amazing people are the ones that don't speak much, but when they do, they shut up a lot of mouths.

295

If the phone doesn't ring,
it's me.

178

I don't approve of political jokes

I've seen too many of them get elected.

153

just wanted to update everyone on the fact that absolutely nothing new is happening in my life

203

Frying stuff is one way of saying
"I love you"

80

there's a little truth behind every
"just kidding"
a little curiosity behind every
"just wondering"
a little knowledge behind every
"i don't know"
and a little emotion behind every
"i don't care"

250

You know you are getting old when happy hour is a nap.

171

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