Posts Liked by Maaarrrrk

Boys like you when you're playfully mean to them. Call them names. Punch them on the shoulder. Murder their families. All that fun stuff.

Childhood is a lot like being drunk. Everyone remembers what you did, except you.

think like a proton, stay positiv.

Communist until you get rich;

Feminist until you get married;

Atheist until the airplane starts falling.

He's not crazy, he's just special!

(Abraham)

If you're reading this, you've been in comma for almost 20 years now. We're trying a new technology. We don't know where this message will end up in your dream, but we hope we're getting trough. Please wake up! We miss you!

Congratulations!

You LOST me!

heute ist
ich-scheiss-auf-arbeit-in-8-stunden-ist-wochenende-Tag

"If you only read the books that everyone else is reading, you can only think what everyone else is thinking."
-Haruki Murakami

The quieter you become the more you can hear.

Dieser Moment, wenn man unbedingt wissen möchte, wer bei jemandem die
Nr. 1 der BFs ist...

Don't believe everything you
think.

I have learned not to look too far ahead.

i just burnt my tongue on some food

they say the ones you love hurt you the most

It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

Thirty five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts to fall apart.

By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who knows that his father is wrong.

Drunk me absolutely loves creating awkward encounters for sober me.

Success is the best revenge.

Replace fear of the unknown with curiosity.

Make friends with three people:

a law student, a police officer,
and a bartender.

There's two ways to avoid a hangover..

Don't drink or don't stop

Today I saved a man's life

I had just to calm me down

Wir leben alle unter dem gleichen Himmel, aber wir haben nicht alle den gleichen Horizont.

Whenever possible, print in Times New Roman. You'll get 100 more pages out of a cartridge than you will printing in heavier fonts like Arial or Verdana.

I live in my own world, but it's okay, everyone knows me here.

I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you have come into my life, I've changed my mind.

When you write a friends list, do it in pencil.

You can't drown all the stupid people, some know how to swim.

Some people need to learn, DNA is NOT the only thing that makes you family!!!

I stay up late every night then realize it was a bad idea in the morning.

On a scale of 0 to Potato, how mashed were
you
last night?

Will you
be my
fuck
buddy tonight?

A simple HELLO could lead to a million things!

Here's to nights that turned into mornings with friends that turned into family.

God must love stupid people. He did make quite a lot!

I still have no idea why it's called a beauty sleep when you wake up looking like a fuckin' troll!

Let's
can't sleep
together •

I like the night. Whitout the dark we would never see the stars.

War does not determine who is right -

only who is left.

SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK

Politeness has become so rare that some people mistake it for flirtation.

I love you with all my penis.

Ladies, lets take extra long to look stunning for all the guys we'll be ignoring tonight.

My favorite kind of coffee is the kind where no one talks to me while I'm drinking it.

Jeans: Keeping erections concealed since 1873.

I wish my life came with a remote so I can pause, rewind, fast forward & play it would be so much easier.

Unless you are a pregnancy test... Take your NEGATIVITY somewhere else!

I found your nose.

Its in my business again.

Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface.

Its their way of falling •Andre Gide

Weird.

Some guy just gave me half of a peace sign.

Love isn't blind,
it's retarded.

People
who dont understand sarcasm
are awesome.

To all of us "typobitches"---

Get it write.

Damn

"right"

Naps are tricky because you either wake up refreshed or you wake up asking what year it is.

I
DONT
CARE.

ILOVEIT

Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood so technically pancakes are more important than family

Laut Gesetz darf man einem Betrunkenen keinen Alkohol verkaufen. Bekomme ich jetzt nichts zu Essen wenn ich satt bin?

i have a friend named Jay, we call him J for short

Life may seem like a challenge, but only if you think of it that way.

Inspiration can come from anything - or anyone.

That sudden sensation of falling you feel just as your about to fall asleep.

I would definitely use Siri more if there was a setting to change the voice to Morgan Freeman.

The worst part about this post is that I'm naked while writing it.

"Don't worry,
the spider is
smaller than
you"

"...yeah, so is a
grenade"

My goal for 2014 is to accomplish the goals of 2013 which I should've done in 2012 because I promised them in 2011 and planned in 2010.

Microwave minutes seem so much longer than regular minutes.

The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it's too late for them to back out.

ich
kann nicht schlafen

Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

I'm someone who starts a crossword puzzle with a pen.

Call me an optimist.

you only live once... but if you do it right once is enough

Paradise is not a place.
It's a feeling.

beards are growing

I want to
ki__ you.

Options may vary.

Dear Algebra,
stop asking us to find your x. She's not coming back and I don't know y.

behind every great woman... is a man checking out her ass.

scheiss fete! wenn ich meine hose finde hau ich ab.

die meisten leute wollen eine perfekte beziehung. ich will essen.

jesus backwards sounds like sausage.

looks like it's fuck this shit o'clock.

Erinnerungslücken sind der Hauptgewinn am Boden einer jeden Wodkaflasche.

No day is the same

A spark in your imagination is like life, you never know when or what is going to happen.

Calm down, browser.
I cant make a connection either.

The most memorable people in life will be the ones who loved you when you weren't very lovable.

Family... those people that pretend to like you the few times a year they feel obligated to see you & spend the rest of the year ignoring and avoiding you.

Instead of thinking of those who have hurt you, think of those who care about you!

"All you need is a little faith, and a little trust, and a little pixie dust, and all your dreams will come true."

I like the nights.

Some of my best days were nights.

Start where you are.
Use what you have.
Do what you can.

Working on a saturday is like having diarrhea on the back of a unicorn

You can become blind -

by seeing each day a
s a similar one
•Paulo Coelho

Lets leave our troubles behind and enjoy the weekend. Happy friday everyone.

Honestly if you ask for my opinion and then don't like what I tell you, why did you ask in the first place? Or even argue with me about it?

I'M NOT REALLY GOOD IN GIVING A FUCK.

Whatevere you do, first consider the consequences.

Ever sniff coke?

Didn't the ice cubes get stuck in your nose?

(;-D

heute
keine
demo

heute
friedliches
zusammensein

You bring the bridge.
I will bring the fire.

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces,
I would still waste all day in bed.

-Martin Luther

Not sure who is harder to raise. Husband or kids.

Negative people need drama like oxygen. Stay positive and you'll take their breath away.

Die with memories, not dreams.

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment; BUT when a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute.

Apple: I look like a human heart. Mango: I look like a stomach. Grapes: I look like eyes. Banana: I don't like this game...

I don't smoke weed. last time I did it I stood in the kitchen and boiled an onion and ate it, the whole process took like 4 hours.

less walls &
more bridges

The second tweet ever was a guy posting to say he saw a birds dick.

Silence can not be misquoted

What doesn't kill you... can still leave you paralyzed from the neck down.

It went horribly right.

You smile so much, what's wrong with you?

Ride life like a rodeo clown.

DARE
TO BE DIFFERENT

THIS

THEN

THAT

If the world was free...Paradise would lose it's value....

That moment when you hear your name in a conversation.

Feminism is the radical idea that women are people.

Life's challenges are allowing us to live life fully.

Hopefully by embracing them we can appreciate contentment.

Sometimes when your at your lowest, you just gotta pick yourself up and try your best to be happy.

Is a perfectly imperfect perfectionist.

Don't drink and drive

You will spill your drink

Life without Friends is like Boobs without Nipples... Bloody POINTLESS.

One can acquire everything in solitude except character.

Stendhal

Perhaps fuck off, might be too kind.

You know my name, not my life. You know what I've done, not what I've lived thru. You know who I am, not what I am. Until you do, don't think you know me at all.

I don't try to be awesome, awesome tries to be me.

Sometimes it physically hurts me to hold back my sarcastic comments.

He calling home:
"Honey, pack you bags, I just won the lottery!"
She:
"Should I pack for hot or cold"
He: "I don't care, as long as you're gone when I get home".

Have nothing? Can't lose anything!

Stop taking my book so literally. -God.

Feminism is the radical idea that women are people.

"A day without a laugh is a wasted day."

- Charles Chaplin

I'll tell you why I came home half drunk last night.... I ran out of money.

"In the future people will post quotes, claiming I made them."

- Albert Einstein

know who you are and know it's

enough

There is no promise for tomorrow or next week, So live your life as much as you can before there is no tomorrow.

True Love is loving someone for their inner beauty, not their outward appearance.

"Many people die of thirst but

the irish are born with one."

~Spike Milligan

Do you remember the time when we were all in peace?

Yeah, me neither.

Solange die Menschen in Cola-Kästen die Flasche mit ihrem Namen suchen, bezweifle ich, dass wir die intelligenteste Lebensform im Universum sind.

Das ist kein Speck! Das ist erotische Nutzfläche!

Every family has one weird relative.

If you don't know who it is, then it's probably you.

Before you judge me, make sure you're perfect.

It's not the dress that makes you look fat....

... it's the fat!

I can never run away from my problems, because my main problems, are laziness and procrastination.

when
nothing
is
for
sure

anything
can
happen

Everyone should be respected as an individual- but no one idolized

Albert Einstein

Too dumb for science?
Try religion.

Wonders if Hooters were to become a door-to-door service would they have to change their name to Knockers?

I wonder what would happen if we all did just the right amount of wrong.

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

TE

( ) AMO
( x ) QUILA

You can't ruin a friendship with sex.

That's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.

Funny
when two people are discussing the same thing with the same opinion into thinking that the other is wrong
they do not listen each other

I hate the word Homophobia.
It's not a phobia. You're not scared. You're an asshole.

-Morgan Freeman.

Before you criticize anyone, you should walk a mile in their sneakers.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their sneakers.

Basically me at school all day:

Me: I hate all of you.

Me: Holy crap walk faster.

Me: Get smarter, you idiot.

Me: Maybe, if I hit my head on the desk enough times, I'll die.

when i see you, my heart doesn't skip any beat.

my heart just loses it.

He isn't the brightest crayon in the box...but he is my favorite color....

everytime you speak, i can feel my brain cells committing suicide one by one

you can't force someone to respect you, but you can refuse to be disrespected

Don't expect a "Bless you" after the 4th sneeze

Get your shit together

you are what you do

not what you say you'll do

$I'm not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them$

Geben sich Vegetarier beim Sex eigentlich Gemüsenamen?

Lass uns mal Rollen tauschen. Ich vergesse, du vermisst..

YOU only know my NAME not my STORY .

Why do some couples make their status "single" every time they fight? I don't put "orphan" when I get into fights with my parents.

Arrive beautiful.

Leave ugly!

Wir sitzen auf dem Sofa und filusofir... phielusof... also wir reden.

"Do you speak
English ?"

"See I so out ?"

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"VODKA"

Water, but awesome.