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Posts Liked by LionDormant

just in case people needed some perspective as to how much a billion actually is

1 million seconds is just over a week and a half

1 billion seconds is about 32 years

34

I had to go on two diets at the same time, because one diet wasn't givng me enough food.

17

A fool who knows he is a fool, is no longer a fool.

38

you may not have lost all your marbles, but there's definitely a hole in the bag.

42

It's Thursday, or as I like to call it:

Day 4 of the hostage situation.

82

if you can't laugh at yourself...

call me, i'll do it.

59

Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body.

42

On average
I spend about $80 a year to watch bananas turn brown.

71

Lust is saturday night; Love is sunday morning.

59

If you're in a fairytale and you're a single woman over the age of 35, chances are you're evil.

126

I can't believe it's been a year since I didn't become a better person.

26

All I know is one of us is right and the other one is you.

67

I hate brushing my teeth at night because that signifies that you can't have anymore food and I'm just never ready for that kind of commitment.

63

If you love someone, let them sleep.

67

The key to a long relationship:
keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.

52

What you need to know about men and women: Women are crazy and men are stupid. But the main reason women are crazy is because men are stupid.

39

There's only two things that make up trail mix... m&m's and disappointment.

13

Half of my feelings are doubts about the other half of my feelings.

53

You can delete your post but you can't delete the screenshot I sent to my best friend.

32

Today a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.....apparently "in HD" was not the right answer...

106

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think "oh shit it's the cops"?

105

I wish my wallet came with
free refills.

21

"You wore that before." Yes, because it's my shirt and I have a washing machine.

39

First woman on the moon:
"Houston, we have a problem."
What?
"Never mind."
What's the problem?
"Nothing."
Please tell us?
"I'm fine."

87

everything is easier said than done

6

Girls fall in love with what they hear and guys fall in love with what they see... That's why girls wear make-up and guys lie.

39

Sometimes it freaks me out that there is a skeleton living inside me.

50

Have you ever noticed that a woman's
"be ready in 5 minutes"
and a man's
"be home in 5 minutes"
are exactly the same?

108

we are all
slaves to
things we
choose
freely.

55

Sometimes it is the people who no one imagines anything of,
who do the things that
no one can imagine.

55

Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that.

3

If your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself

4

The freedom
to believe in
whatever you want

comes with the
responsibility to
keep it to yourslef.

4

Only dead fish follow the stream.

10

Karma means i can rest easy at night knowing all the people i treated badly today had it pretty much coming.

44

If you break a rule, do it the right way!

20

You can't make somebody love you. You can only stalk them and hope for the best.

32

[o][x][o]
[o][x][o]
[x][o][x]
[x]

50

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does that remind you of your life?

26

To the world you may just be one person, but to one person you just may be the world.

16

FEELING
PHANTOM
PHONE
VIBRATIONS
IN MY
POCKET....

You know that junk
happens to you too.

20

just because you can't understand something,
it doesn't mean it's wrong.

72

You have to be odd to be number one.

66

Women
fall in love with
what they hear

Men
fall in love with
what they see

That's why
women wear make-up
and men lie

91

Sometimes you have to find the good in goodbye.

115

If your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself

226

If I marry a Canadian, I've decided that the children will be raised metric.

52

There is a company called Kia & a company called Nokia.
I'm not sure who to believe.

77

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