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Posts Liked by lieni

I want to sleep for two years and wake up with a degree, an apartment and money in the bank

269

Only very fit and healthy people have midnight snacks
It takes a great deal of physical and mental effort to get out of bed at such late hours

180

Du hast 10 Kekse und jemand fragt dich, ob du 2 davon abgeben möchtest.

Wieviele Kekse hast du noch?

10

19

I don't mind your weirdness as long as it's compatible with mine.

58

The most amazing people are the ones that don't speak much, but when they do, they shut up a lot of mouths.

295

Sometimes, you just have to put tape on your nipples and go running in the rain.

124

Nice try coffee,
nice try.

20

I love how coffee tricks me into thinking I'm in a good mood for approximately 34 minutes.

10

Faster than the speed of light is when you can take a bottle of beer out of the fridge before the light comes on.

263

sleep is for the weak

6

My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"

812

I love making people who don't like me hate me more by just being me.

612

life is what happens when you put your phone down.

928

The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.

823

Voices in your head - normal

Listening to them - common

Arguing with them - acceptable

Losing the argument - BIG PROBLEM

703

You smile so much, what's wrong with you?

16

If I wanted to please everyone, I were born as Nutella

311

you > most stuff

6

If I share my food with you it's either because I love you a lot
or because it fell on the floor...

43

Some people are like clouds.

When they disappear,
it gets a brighter day.

84

Daily routine:

wake up
be awesome
go back to sleep

88

If Adam and Eve were Chinese,
we would still be in paradise because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake.

210

Liebe Pollen
ich finde es ja schön, dass ihr durch die Luft fliegt und euch vermehrt, doch macht dies bitte nicht in meiner Nähe.

6

"The truth is no substitute for the laugh."

- Internet

9

It's not the dress that makes you look fat....

... it's the fat!

121

Most of us can keep a secret. It's the people we tell it to who can't.

129

I have a 6th sense, I see dumb people.

33

Im Gegensatz zu
Männern würden
Frauen ihre Fehler einfach zugeben.

Wenn sie welche hätten.

11

habe mich
gewogen.

bin zu klein.

6

Fluffy Socks

2% Comfort
3% Warmth
95% Sliding around like a ninja

30

5 minuten
dumm stellen

kann eine stunde
arbeit sparen

6

Complaining about the weather is about as intelligent as complaining about gravity, you can't do a thing about it unless you go really fucking far

away.

90

Laut meinem Spiegel war die Nacht zu kurz.

Muss heute also voll auf die inneren Werte setzen.

29

Keep reaching for the stars.

But, please, get a better deodorant.

98

zitat dozent: ich glaube wir sollten die vorlesung abbrechen, hab gerade auf einem bildschirm gelesen der bachlor ist ein verlustgeschäft.

6

Me: for Christmas I
want a unicorn.

Santa: be realistic!

Me: ok I want a
boyfriend.

Santa: what colour do
you want your
unicorn?

153

paradise is always a long way from home.

62

The moment when even google can't help you with your homework

OO

The lord is testing me..

12

I'm gonna ignore you so hard you'll start to doubt your own existance.

148

Let`s celebrate the day you gave up on finding anyone better than me.

4

someone who will listen to pointless story after pointless story

10

Gonna put a selfie on top of the Christmas tree because I am the star •

102

easy peasy lemon squeezy

3

The main difference between me and a calendar is that a calendar actually has dates.

6

Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again?

5

my brain activity converges to 0

too much calculus

7

Die wundersame Reise der Vorbedinung durch die Welt der Schleifen.

2

out of all the lies i've told, 'just kidding!' is my favourite.

94

lazy sunday

5

decisions,
decisions

2

Fühle mich krank. Ich glaub ich hab Montag.

13

There's just one legitimate synonym for Friday:

boom shakalaka

42

The
difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza •

136

hipsters don't say "LOL" they say "LSIMHBIWFEFMTALOL"

(Laughing silently in my head because it wasn't funny enough for me to actually laugh out loud)

63

i play the keyboard in a band called the internet

88

The creative adult is the child who survived.

491

If fantasy was realistic -
reality would be fantastic.

181

I just took a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.

271

I get ignored so much, people should call me 'Terms and Conditions'.

56

We didn't lose gold.

We won silver.

49

Ups...just got caught peeing in the swimming pool. The damn lifeguard shouted so loud, I almost fell in.

58

took a nude photo of myself. with the lights off.

you're welcome.

131

would your 8 year old self be proud of you right now?

23

GO
HUG
YOURSELF

155

GO
HUG
YOURSELF

216

surfing on HUGELOL cuz 9GAG is too main stream

2

I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond this morning.

101

'march' away
'spring' in

16

Congratulations on your ability to create drama out of absolutely nothing •

67

Just remember if we get caught, you are deaf and I don't speak English.

33

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here, we should dance.

46

stop selling leggings to hippos!

42

I hate it when my phone decides to randomly jump out of my hand and attack the floor •

67

I hate when I'm about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.

79

Friends
don't let you do stupid things
-
alone

82

some people just need a hug

...around the neck

...with a rope.

80

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

111

I'm so poor I can't even pay attention.

39

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code

22

Before you judge me, make sure you're perfect.

100

I stay in bed to save the planet.

53

I wake up everyday intending to be productive and then a voice in my head says "Haha good one!" and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.

62

why don't you slip into something a little more comfortable? like a coma.

40

shit happens I mean... just look at your face.

53

Why haven't you answered my call?

Because I was dancing to my ringtone

72

I just had a near-work experience.

91

hipsters make me want to punch a unicorn in the junk

12

my life.
my choices.
my mistakes.
my lessons.
not your business.

136

90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women either.

94

Dear Algebra,
stop asking us to find your "X".
She's not coming back.

124

I may look calm but in my head I have already killed you three times AND hid the body.

241

Some days, the best thing about my job is that the chair spins.

238

when
nothing
goes
right,

go
left.

275

don't give up on your dreams.

keep sleeping.

155

bad decisions make good stories

423

I have an idea.

You sit back, you relax and you die unnoticed.

69

I just awesomed all over the place.

317

You look like something
I draw with my left hand.

959

If I have ten ice cubes and you have eleven oranges, how many pancakes can fit on the roof? Purple. Because aliens don't wear hats.

126

We'll always be friends, you know too much.

132

Sorry hab nicht zugehört, meine Gedanken waren gerade interessanter

27

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code

34

Whenever a bird craps on my car, I eat a plate of scrambled eggs on my front porch just to let them know what I'm capable of.

17

my ambition is handi-capped by laziness.

34

what's the point of being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?

40

if only closed minds came with closed mouth

52

Don't be sad because of people.
They will all die.

67

IT'S SNOWING, QUICK TELL EVERYONE ON SOCIAL MEDIA.

#not

69

Do you like sleeping? Me too. We should do it together sometime.

99

You make me wish I had more middle fingers.

184

light travels faster than sound.

that's why some people appear to be bright before they speak.

83

i licked it, so it's mine.

195

I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.

157

HOW ABOUT A NICE BIG CUP OF SHUT THE FUCK UP

29

If I was a bird, I know who I'd shit on first.

42

I like work, it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

80

wer immer ganz offen ist, ist nicht ganz dicht.

4

there will come a time when you get the chance to do the right thing...
I love those moments! I like to wave at them as they pass by ^.^

2

Yeah it's 12.12.12 12:12:12 Let's post it on FB everyone!:D

#not

1

hakuna matata mada
faka

2

I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life
-
if I die next thursday.

115

HIGH SIX

3

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