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Posts Liked by lapin

Life is too ironic to fully understand.
It takes sadness to know what happiness is. Noise to appreciate silence and absence to value presence.

147

I hate when people say you don't need alcohol to have fun... Well you don't need running shoes to run but it fucking helps.

188

The secret to happiness is low expectations.

20

Trick or treat, smell my feet,
give me something good to eat.

79

If sex, shots, or sleep can't solve it, you have a fucking problem.

182

When there's always the same shit on repeat,

learn the fucking lesson.

132

Love is saying
"I know you're a fucking psycho manic but I'm willing to work
with that."

143

tomorrow (noun)

a mystical land where 99 percent of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored.

201

Me: I want a magical unicorn for Christmas!

Santa: Be realistic.

Me: OK, I want 5 minutes to myself each day to have my coffee hot and pee in peace.

Santa: What colour unicorn would you like?

185

I'm opening a gym called "Resolutions". It will have exercise equipment in it for the first two weeks, then it turns into a bar for the rest of the year.

255

life isn't a fairytale.

if you lose your shoe at midnight you might want to slow down on the tequila.

71

she lives
the poetry
she cannot
write...

17

Let's go for a rum!

230

Growing old is
mandatory.

Growing up is optional.

312

Dear Monday,

Please be so kind and ask Tuesday to sms Wednesday to email Thursday and ask Friday to move a bit faster •

44

Ob Ihr wirklich
richtig steht,
seht ihr wenn
3G angeht.

24

Besoffen ist die Abkürzung für besonders offen !

34

Friendship isn't a big thing..
it's a
million little things •

31

An apple a day will keep anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.

40

Men have a basic understanding of complex ideas.

Women have a complex understanding of basic ideas.

42

Mit voller Blase noch schnell in die Migros Brot holen und nicht wissen, ob man einen Rentner mit Kleingeld an der Kasse erwischt.

Leben am Limit.

33

"What doesn’t kill you makes you smaller.”

- Super Mario

62

Some people are like clouds.

When they disappear,
it gets a brighter day.

84

When butterflies
fall in love,
do they feel humans in their
stomach?

106

Freak out your neighbours by renaming your WiFi to

"Police Surveillance Van"

71

If
Mondays were
shoes they would be Crocs •

2

If
Mondays were
shoes they would be Crocs •

64

Life is like a camera. Just focus on what's important, capture the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don't turn out - take another shot.

95

without coffee
-.-

with coffee
•.•

67

BEAUTIFUL THINGS HAPPEN WHEN YOU DISTANCE YOURSELF FROM

THE NEGATIVE SHIT

132

I'm going to start cleaning the house. And by cleaning, I mean drinking wine while spraying everything with Febreze.

81

kim jong uncool

33

Do not have unprotected
text.

244

smoking pot may be illegal

but then again

so is the music on your ipod

10

the FUTURE

of the PAST

is NOW

6

beer is good, but beers are better

7

Everything happens for a reason!

Sometimes the reason is that you are stupid and you make bad decisions.

64

Some days, the best thing about my job is that the chair spins.

238

A LAUGH IS A
SMILE THAT BURSTS

20

An Apple a day keeps Windows away.

40

resolution 2013

uninstall ignorance
install curiosity

128

when there is nothing left to burn you have to set yourself on fire.

129

I hate Monday because Monday hates me.

129

children are noisy, expensive, unnecessary and insatiable ... just like all the wonderful things in life.

3

o o

36

Life begins after coffee

121

houston we got a hangover

116

i'm trying to get in to the christmas spirit but the damn bottle won't open.

118

Monday? I told you to fuck off last week

115

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