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Posts Liked by katiab

"Hey I saw your ex yesterday"

If you didn't punch them in the throat, then I don't give a fuck about what you saw.

32

Sometimes you have to find the good in goodbye.

115

My love is like a candle.

If you forget me, I'll burn your house down.

136

You make me smile...

And also super horny, but that's not the point.

203

Quiet people have the loudest minds.

355

Let's go camping.

In a hotel.
With a pool. And a spa.

136

Dear Ex,

Please don't be fooled by Adele, you'll never find someone like me.

203

Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.

628

Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.

240

in Denmark, we're so rich

we pay with crowns

192

Home sweet mess.

264

others have sex in the kitchen, I eat in bed

367

i just burnt my tongue on some food

they say the ones you love hurt you the most

270

The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.

312

You look like something
I draw with my left hand.

959

I fear the people who can bite ice cream.

243

McDonald's, making people fat since 1940.

55

Girls we love for what they are; men for what they promise to be.

23

Love isn't blind,
it's retarded.

109

my ex has one very annoying habit.

breathing.

100

the lion and tiger might be powerful...
but the wolf does not perform in the circus

316

My favorite thing about school was sitting with your friend & flipping through a random textbook pointing at ugly pictures & saying "that's you"

24

I work so I can drink and I drink because I work.

Such a vicious cycle....

12

The only way I get dirty in bed is when I spill ice cream on it.

27

A great way to avoid consuming extra calories after 9:00p.m. is to eat an entire tub of ice cream at 8:53p.m.

22

I'll always be there to listen to your problems as long as an obscene amount of ice cream is involved.

25

I won't cry for you, my mascara is too expensive.

37

He asked me, "What's your favorite position?"

I said, "CEO."

33

Optimist:
Someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it's more of a cha-cha.

43

I love the kind of hugs where you can physically feel the sadness leaving your body.

62

Roses are red, ice cream is cold, get on your knees and do as you're told!

46

Someone telling me to calm down when I was already calm unleashes a fury that not even hell can contain.

48

I'm going to open an ice cream shop and name the flavors things like: "don't be sad", "he's not worth it", "you deserve better" and so on.

76

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