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Posts Liked by Jay95

I miss the hugs we use to have. The hugs where everything touched, the hugs where I felt every part of you; where I felt your heart beat, the way it speeds up when I bury my face in your neck. The feelings both of us had when we grasped each others hands, the way our lips felt touching.

14

Der Vorteil der Klugheit besteht darin, dass man sich dumm stellen kann!

Das Gegenteil ist schon schwieriger!

12

"Sie haben eine Lücke im Lebenslauf!"

"Ja, war geil!"

19

Was sagt der große zu dem kleinen Stift?

Wachsmalstift!

41

Morals?

I can't even hold in my farts.

7

The biggest prank we ever pulled was George W. Bush.

14

I keep tinfoil on the head of my dick so the government can't read my mind.

20

No YouPorn...
I do not want to play poker,

I'm at work.

19

War is when the government tells you who the enemy is.

Revolution is when you figure it out yourself.

28

I
feel
good.

17

Tote Enten
sehen traurig aus.

Doch der Chinese macht was draus!

17

I wanna fuck you and make you feel alright.

26

Glück ist

wenn man für den nächsten Tag keinen Wecker stellen muss

21

I give good moral support.

Minus the "m" and the whole support thing.

20

Don't be afraid of being different.

Be afraid of being the same as everyone else.

24

Menschen, die mich vor 9 Uhr fragen ob ich gut drauf bin, schauen auch mit dem Streichholz nach, ob noch Benzin im Tank ist.

15

just had a fight with my alarm clock. it wanted to wake me up, i disagreed. a huge fight broke out, now the alarm clock is broken and i'm wide awake. not sure who won?

35

There are a
million ways
to love.
Sex is just
the tip of the
iceberg.

28

who says nothing is impossible...

i've been doing nothing for years.

17

Have you ever been hurt by someone and it feels like you've been stabbed 1000 times in the heart and couldn't do anything about it but deal with it??

25

Clean
House
Is The
Sign
of A
Missing
Remote Control

24

The "let's order pizza" people are the kind of people I want to be around.

31

Okay?

Okay.

35

only trust some~one who can see these three things in you:
the sorrow behind your smile, the love behind your anger and the reason behind your silence

36

"Für wie doof hältst du mich eigentlich?"

"Warte kurz, ich muss nur noch kurz mein Einhorn füttern."

"OK, ich warte. "

43

Kisses Blown
Are Kisses Wasted..
Kisses aren't Kisses unless They are Tasted..
Kisses Spread Germs And Germs
Are Hated..
So Kiss Me Baby
I'm Vacinated ^_^ x

23

Talking on the phone with someone who has children, it's like talking to someone who has the Tourette syndrome: "hey! how what-the- hell-are-you- licking-that? are you?"

33

11 year old kids crying over boyfriends and girlfriends

When I was 11 I cried about missing Hannah Montana episodes.

29

Fuck me, or forget me.
Feel me, or deflect me.
Love me, or hate me.
Want me, or reject me.
Whatever you do,
do it true.
'Cause, I'd do it, like that, with you.

Baby; I like it, raw.

51

8 planets
204 countries
809 islands
7 seas
6,000,000,000+ people

and i found you. <3

22

Ich leide nicht an Realitätsverlust.

Ich geniesse ihn.

36

LIFE is like a BOOK. Some chapters are SAD, some HAPPY and some EXCITING.
But if you never turn the page, the next chapter will always remain unknown.

29

Just because you're
trash doesn't mean you
can't do great things.

It's called garbage can,
not garbage cannot!

34

So thankful my childhood was filled with imagination & bruises from playing outside, instead of apps & how many likes you can get on a selfie.

44

Wenn Charakter wieder in Mode ist, kommt meine Zeit.

57

My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy...so I came back drunk.

40

Hi
I exist.

79

It's easier to say
I'm fine, because,
what are you
going to do about
it if I'm not?

70

My phone is in my hand almost every second of the day so if you think I'm ignoring you I probably am.

49

Dont look for someone who will solve all your problems. Look for someone who wont let you face them alone.

14

It's been a long day
Without you my friend
And I'll tell you all about it
When I see you again

14

"Für wie doof hältst du mich eigentlich?"

"Warte kurz, ich muss nur noch kurz mein Einhorn füttern."

"OK, ich warte. "

74

Whoever you may be, wherever life may lead you,
you're always,

A Mom's child,
A Dad's dream,
A Family's future,
A Friend's heart
& someone's life.

Be the best of it...

14

My passions are with you My dreams will come true You know how much I love you So I can't part away from you .......

6

you know that breeze on your cheek, that you feel every day when you wake up and before you go to bed? that's me kissing you good morning and night from afar <3

17

"DISTANCE" is just a test to see how far love can TRAVEL, or to be hopeful that... TRUSTING EACH OTHER is "possible" after all!

9

alle möchten in den himmel kommen, aber niemand will sterben.

10

To me, home was never a place; it was a feeling. It was the way the people I loved said my name.

24

I want someone who'll sit on a rooftop with me at 2am & tell me their fav songs and their family problems, & how they think the earth was made.

39

Follow your heart..

Absolutely nothing else matters. As long as your not hurting anyone, do whatever you need to do for the life you want.

14

Ficken bis die Wolken wieder lila sind.

20

If chaos is a work of art, then my heart is a masterpiece.

19

not only my condom is bold.

12

Want to see
BIG BEN?

9

1 + 1 = 3

If you don't use a condom.

16

Girl:I am not the type of girl for anyone. I'm rude. I hate everyone. I barely go outside. I rather stay at home playing games than go to parties. I punch people. I dont know how to treat guys and sumtimes I really hate myself.

Guy: I like u anyway..:*

15

can't wait to have sex with the boldomatic condoms

18

It's not all about a quickie.

11

VERSÖHNUNGSSEX

6

Its easy to stand with the crowd. It takes courage to stand ALONE.

70

If you want to feel rich, just count all the gifts you have that money cant buy.

70

When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.

116

Hurt me with the Truth but Never comfort me with the Lie...

70

The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success

57

When i'm in a new relationship
My stomach always hurt's !

not from Butterflies or anything..

From Holding In Fart 's

8

Person 1: "I'm really
athletic."

Person 2: "I'm hilarious."

Person 3: "I'm gorgeous."

Me: "I can breathe."

7

Nothing is better than seeing your ex with someone uglier than you.

17

loving someone who doesn't love you is like waiting for a ship at the airport

22

When you are stalking your ex`s insta and accidentally like one of his pics from 2 years ago and you gotta deactivate your account and start a new life in china.

29

a golden cage is still just a cage.

35

Gib deine Träume nicht auf.
Schlaf weiter.

32

A boyfriend should make his girlfriends pussy wet, not her eyes.

A girlfriend should make her boyfriends dick hard, not his life.

47

home is where your heart is.

39

I hope you step on a Lego.

69

if you cannot find peace within yourself, you will never find it anywhere else.

73

Me: for Christmas I
want a unicorn.

Santa: be realistic!

Me: ok I want a
boyfriend.

Santa: what colour do
you want your
unicorn?

123

Sex is the
most fun you
can have without laughing •

28

I'll act my age when I'm 69.

39

Sheet ripping,
Sweat dripping,
Loud screaming,
Hair pulling,
Ass smacking,

32

In einer guten Beziehung hat keiner die Hosen an.

Die stören ja nur.

31

Mmmm, fuck it. Yeah, I have a dirty mind.

29

Sex on television cant hurt you unless you fall off.

24

Real MEN
don't buy Girls

39

If I havent
said something sexual to you then we probably
aren't good friends •

30

Whenever I see a woman with a bratty kid, I think to myself:

"I hope that orgasm was worth it."

32

A good man can make you feel sexy, strong and able to take on the world.

Oh sorry..
That's wine.
Wine does that.

37

Men wear the pants, but ladies control the zipper.

24

YOUR FACE WOULD LOOK BETTER BETWEEN MY LEGS.

50

Do you ever just
look at somebody
and wonder how
they moan during sex..?

40

Your clothes. They bother me. Take them off.

58

men use love to get sex. women use sex to get love. I use coupons to get pizza

58

The key to a long relationship:
keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.

52

I came.
I saw.
I conquered.
I came again.

57

Falling in love is easy.
Staying in love requires dedication, understanding, forgiveness, great sex-often, showing support even if you may not agree, silly flirting, random compliments, exposing your weaknesses and trusting those weaknesses will never be used against you. True Love Takes Work.

66

I'm too sexy for my ex •

42

"Who wears the pants in our relationship?" We prefer it when neither of us are wearing pants.

51

I'm not responsible for what I'll do to you when I'm with you.

50

My 3 moods:
1. fuck off
2. fuck you
3. fuck me

101

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think "oh shit it's the cops"?

105

Sometimes all you need is a hug or someone to tell you everything will be ok, or some rough sex or whatever...

72

save your anger for the bedroom

85

If men could get pregnant, not only abortion would be legal, but birth control would be free, mandatory and bacon-flavored

95

Favorite type of music to play during sex?

You.

51

LET'S DO SOME "WE SHOULDN'T BE DOING THIS" THINGS.

262

i asked a sexy Chinese girl for her number.

she replied: sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight.
i said: wow!

then her friend said:
-she means 6663629

74

A DELETED BROWSER HISTORY SAYS IT ALL.

61

treat me like a princess
fuck me like a pornstar

69

Do me right
and I'll do you
better •

53

59

Don't have phone sex, you might get hearing aids.

51

14,000 people are having sex right now.

25,000 are kissing.

50,000 are hugging.

And you... well you're reading this post.

104

Karma is like 69. You get what you give.

102

"Verpiss dich du Arschloch!"

"Könntest du das bitte in ordentlichem Deutsch wiederholen?"

"Uriniere dich hinfort, du Gesässöffnung."

27

"Bitte entschuldigen Sie mein Deutsch, ich lerne diese Sprache gerade."

"Yoah Alda! no prob. Alles easy man!"

32

habe heute fast 5 min. gebraucht um zu verstehen was "Brathering" bedeutet.
dann die erkenntnis: is ja deutsch,
nicht englisch.

44

"Soll ich auf türkisch bestellen?"

"Nein, ich spreche deutsch."

"Ich hab's extra auswendig gelernt!"

"Na gut. Was darf's sein?"

"Kebab."

21

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